to grow hair, create hair group, as you said you did, then you need to edit the group ("edit growth group") The group editor palate opens up (and everything turns gray don't panic it's temporary) and this is where you select polygons to grow the hair from. You can add from individual polys or groups or from a material. once you are done, close the group editor window. Now you can grow hairs and style them. If you need to change which polygons are part of the group later you'll need to regrow the hair and this may (expect it) undo any styling.

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