Great post, although I don't entirely agree. I would never use a colon like this example - He replied: “Yes, we drove to town.”

If it's a question, it always gets a question mark, regardless of what comes next. - “When do we depart?” asked the Captain.

Lastly, the Captain can say it how he wishes. I don't think they are absurd, just could be better.

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All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster

And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...