My monologue: (it doesn't have to be long, remember, these challenges are meant to be short and done over morning coffee)

I should like to tell you that my name is Penelope Cornapeous Hornpickle, and that I live in a spiral-towered, four-story house, with six chimneys, three porches, and a grey fence surrounding a yard sparsely populated with patches of green grass pressing against a grey fence, in what I believe is a valiant attempt to escape—but I can't, because my name is Jack Tumbleweed Wrakleday.

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Wolfenshire, Moderator/Community Leader