I want to show this thread to my wife... She speaks without commas and periods.

She will literally be talking to three different people about three different things and I'll never know who she is talking to or when I'm being included or asked something... I once went out in the yard and peed on a tree because she didn't pause while interjecting a comment to our dog in the middle of "stuff we need to do latter".

But I'm terrible at proper sentence structure, punctuation and grammar... I blame it all on a tragic misinterpretation of an explanation of Mark Twain's methods... That and none of my English teachers ever appreciated anything I ever wrote and would write all sorts of unkind comments in red ink, all over my papers. It caused me to reject conventional methods of writing in favor of bewildering the reader with hyperbolic sentences, pseudo-gramma and anti-punctuation.

Please do not judge me harshly. I do not do it to antagonize real writers, nor to make a statement... I do it to make people appreciate real writing. That, and I'm lazy.

I suppose you could judge me harshly for that part.

I never fully understood Steven King's ban on adverbs... Mainly, because I always confuse him with Dean Koontz or the toe fungus monster from the Lamisil commercials... But I did make a few bucks smuggling adverbs down from Canada when the commotion first started.

The problem with adverbs is you have to get them neutered before you start out on your journey, or they will breed like crazy and overrun your stolen taco vending van in just a matter of hours... Let me tell you, trying to get past the Candian border guards with adverbs spilling out of every gap and rust hole, is no easy task.

It's not hard, but not easy... I'd say it's more or less "sorta hard" and a bit "sorta easy".

My adverb smuggling days are behind me now... Mostly because they eventually overbred and turned to cannibalism and nobody really wanted to buy ragged, scarred up, parasite infested cannibalistic adverbs. I kept a few for myself and neutered them with a copy of "Proper Grammar for Morons". They now live happily in a deep pit in the back of my yard, where I occasionally throw a goat or small pig into to keep them fed.