We had a caller asking for a donation to the old people's home. I gave them my grandma.

last week, I was beaten up by a six foot beetle. When I went to see my doctor about it, he told me there was a nasty bug going around.

I'm allergic to violence. It makes me break out in cuts and bruises.

A woman from Rotherham had a pair of her knickers stolen from the clothes line. She's not too bothered about those but she'd like the 24 pegs back.

How can you tell when a Barnsley woman has an orgasm? She drops her doner kebab.

Scientists have discovered a food which puts women off sex. It's called Wedding Cake.

My friend opened a magic bottle with a genie trapped inside. The genie granted him a wish, so he asked that his penis would trail along the floor. Suddenly, his legs fell off.

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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