We are convinced my son is psychic.

One night we were putting him to bed, and he began to say his prayers: "God bless mommy, and daddy, and grandma. Good bye grandpa."

The next day, my father died. We were all in a panic. Sure enough, a week later he was saying his prayers again: "God bless mommy and daddy. Good bye grandma."

You guessed it. My mother died the next day. Now we were really freaking out. Sure enough, a few days later: "God bless mommy. Good bye daddy."

I spent the whole next day worried about when I was going to pass. I went to work as usual, but I couldn't concentrate so I came home. I found my wife on the front steps crying her eyes out.

I asked her "dear, I'm not dead yet. Why are you crying like that?"

She said "You don't understand! The mail man was coming up the steps to deliver the mail, and he died right there at the top!"

If I had a nickle for ever time a woman told me to get lost, I could buy Manhattan.