A_Sunbeam posted at 2:26PM Fri, 02 June 2017 - #4306498

Why do we call all this email stuff 'spam'? You can at least eat real Spam.

You wouldn't want to, though.

Back to the burgers thing...

There's a new, Hipster burger joint opened up here. It's called Arse Biscuits and it's pretty good. The decor is all found objects from skips (that's dumpsters to you guys) and the furniture is all made from cinder blocks. Music is generally a mashup of Gregorian chants, Industrial noises and toy pianos. Being a hipster place, the staff all have check shirts, numerous facial piercings and huge beards. That includes the waitresses.

When we went the other day, I had their organically farmed, single grass fed Venezuelan beef patty, with Artisanal tomato relish and designer kangaroo cheese. That was served in a ethically sourced, wholewheat bun on a driftwood platter. I also had a limited edition craft beer which came in a uber ironic Tupperware spaghetti drum.

Claire went for their "Irony Burger". That's the one where they nip round to the local McDonald's, buy the cheapest thing there, whack it with a hammer and serve it to you in the original wrapper, specially distressed and signed by the chef. She opted for their Special Chocolate shake, which is made with chocolate bars found in the back of someone's cupboard a couple of years back. They use freshly squeezed hamster milk and organically farmed broccoli ice cream. The shake is beautifully presented in an old jam jar with the label still attached.

Our friends went for something I can't quite remember but it was still moving when it came to the table.

Burgers and drinks for four came to £2500 plus tip. Quite reasonable, I thought.

Coppula eam se non posit acceptera jocularum.

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