A couple of things...

First, the change in seeing the OBJ export settings is a DAZ3D thing. With the new version of the software they crippled the already in place RunSilent flag (currently corrected for next release version - as Gerald stated), so that is why you are seeing it while I am not, because I am using the first iteration of DS4.9. Will DAZ do this again? Of course they will. They really don't like outside competition to their in-house solutions...

Second, I believe I found your OBJ error, and why you are getting subsequent errors; It appears that you might have the cloth item you want to simulate "parented" to your figure (from your screen-shot above - cloth nested in the figure node ?). Solution: If this is the case, then first unparent the cloth before using VWD. If it is not parented, then please disregard, and the error might be different.

And, lastly, the memory thing; You believe because you have 32 Gigs of RAM, that VWD should be using it, but VWD is only a 32 bit program, so it can only use 4 Gigs max. Your CPU cores are more important at this stage...