If you make the hip a prop, it may fall off. You will need to add the top row of vertices to the constrained group. SImulations can slow down for different reasons. if the poly count is high, or there is intersection are the two common ones. When the poly count is high, I've had sims take several hours. I remember those garments and sim them overnight. Or run the polygon reducer. Even if there is no poke through at the beginning of the simulation, watch for body parts that might pass through other body parts. Also, make sure you give plenty of frames for the figure to get posed. Some old tutorials I've seen put the posed frame at 5 or 10. For a sitting position, you need at least 15 to 20. Think how fast your clothing whips around if you moved really fast. More frames slows the figure down to closer to normal speed.

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