Just in case you missed this from the DAZ ReadMe file:

Why is it taking so long to load V4 in Poser?

As mentioned in the "What's new in Victoria 4.2" section above, "Due to the way Poser reads the ExP files, it is strongly recommended that Victoria 4.2 be kept in the default Poser Runtime. DAZ Studio users can place Victoria 4.2 in an external folder if desired."

The .cr2 file can be moved to an external Runtime, but the files in the Libraries:!DAZ folder should be kept in the default Poser Runtime. If the !DAZ folder is moved to an external Runtime, Poser first looks in the default Runtime, then starts looking through all files on all hard drives for the files. This can take a very long time to complete, as much as 15-20 minutes.

FWIW, I have V4 in an external runtime, but I keep all the !DAZ stuff in the primary runtime.

And you should try to clean up the extra files from your aborted install attempts. Multiple copies of the morph files can confuse Poser.

I don't think it's the size of V4 that's the problem. IIRC, without morphs, she's the same size or smaller than V3. I think V3 actually has more polys than V4.