cainbrogan, if you'll IM me your email address, I'll send you an .mp3 audio clip I created from synthesized speech. Listen to it, and let me know if it sounds close to what you're looking for.

I've found a couple of nice text-to-speech programs on the net.

TextAloud MP3 is freeware; it's the source of the sound clip I've made. It can use most standard speech modules, and will output to .wav or .mp3.
TextAloud MP3 download link

CoolSpeech is the more versatile of the two. I played with this one about a year ago, and was impressed with the way you can really customize the voices. It too uses most standard speech modules, and outputs to .wav format. The program is time-trial-enabled; you can try it out for 14 days without paying.
CoolSpeech homepage

I did some research; the voice of Soundwave was performed by Frank Welker, a talented and prolific voice actor. Here's his credit-sheet:
The Many Voices of Frank Welker