Appropos of nothing at all, but this seems like a good place to stick it. Hrmmmm... examines previous sentance Ahem. Whatever. Ahem Before I begin... I want to beg the gods to forgive me for what I'm about to do with absolute malice aforethought... ;] The Twelve Steps to Forum Dominance: Step 1: We admitted that we were omnipotent, and that while that meant we had no need for the forum dwellers around us, it would be amusing to force them along the path of true enlightenment. Step 2: Came to believe that there WAS no power greater than ourselves, and that sanity was a delusion fostered by those who wished to denigrate us for their own mean purposes... Step 3: Made a concious effort to convince others to turn their lives and wils over to us, for only we knew the true path to both quality and poser godhood. Step 4: When confronted, we proceeded to take an exacting searching, fearless, and painstaking inventory of the shortcomings of our opponents, and whereever they were wrong, gleefully pointed it out to them. Meanwhile obfuscatng our own failnings with with as large a cloud of BS as we could sling in the shortest amount of time. Step 5: Having completed this inventory of our adversaries, we proceeded to share it with all and sundr in public forum, illustrating it where neccessary [for their own good of course] with excerpts from private emails and Icq conversation logs. Step 6: Were entirely ready to help them remove these defects of character if only they would admit that we were gods and knew the true path... Step 7: Arrogantly demanded WHY they were completely unwilling to listen to our perfectly reasonable demands that they shape up and conform to our worldview. After all, we give SO MUCH, and w're really asking so little.... Step 8: Made a list of all those whom we felt had harmed us, threw a tantrum while deleting all of our previous threads, and stormed out proclaiming loudly to never darken the forums again. Step 9: Stormed back to make direct rebuttals to those people where ever possible before storming out again. Wash, rinse, repeat as neccessary. Step 10: Continued to take inventory of our fellow man, and whereever they were wrong, promptly admitted it. Step 11: We sought through prayer and medication [LOTS of medication] to somehow understand how those around us could fail to see TRUTH in Capitol Letters when we had so steadfastedly beaten them about the head and shoulders with our version of it. Step 12: Having had little or no awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to continue these practices in other online forums after having been banned from our usual haunts under every possible nickname we could think of. Step 13: Having come to the conclusions that due through our adherence to these principles like unto a rabid wolverine latching onto week dead carrion we had become the gods gifts to forumites, we proceeded to selflessly cyberstalk every even remotely attractive online member of the opposite sex until we finally latched onto one as warped as we were. And then we proceeded to breed new forumites. ;] Cribbed with inspiration from, but little or no actual resemblance to the 12-Steps of AA...

"I am a good person now and it feels... well, pretty much the same as I felt before (except that the headaches have gone away now that I'm not wearing control top pantyhose on my head anymore)"

• Monkeysmell