Mehndi, Poppi... can't we all just drop the issue and go on with our lives? I like you, Poppi, you're cool. Mehndi, well, you know how I feel about you, but that's beside the point. The fact is, the community as we know it is about to completly change in so many ways that our petty arguments and past differences, our tendencies to paranoia and conspiracy, have no place. We are the dinosaurs. We face extinction should we continue to ravage the land with our obese presence. Let us simply put these things in the past, where they belong, and evolve, that we might have a hand in the new order, rather than to burden this community with our jealousies, our angers, and our predispositions. Maybe I'm just tired, maybe I'm just changing, but I feel that all of us, if placed in a room, would have a fair time. What is it about this medium that makes it easier for us to pick at each other's faults, and play on each others feelings? I don't know, but I'm sick, and I'm tired, and I'm done. I don't care if you are my "friend" or "enemy", I for one intend to assume a role of responsibility within this community, and I encourage you all to do the same. I may not like Mehndi, but her success or failure do not hurt me or help me. Neither will they likely hurt or help you, Poppi. While I like and respect you, I fear that in this case you are seeing a phantom. Our public portrayal of this issue has gotten to be such that it is a sick mockery of the real actions. Are there shady events moving in the minds of certain players? I think so. Was Mehndi's intent ever such as this? No. I know a great deal of what Mehndi has gone through in the last few weeks. I hope you can take my assurance, as someone for whom defending Mehndi is almost a difficult as eating razors, that her intent was always to improve things, even if it did not turn out as such. Mehndi, I know more about what you and russell have been through with DAZ and PoserPros than most people in this community, and I haven't said a word since the very beginning. I have come to conclude that, while reckless in your negligence, I do believe you mean the best. I truly hope that you realize that the result of your actions is oft times incongruous with the intent of your actions. Don't think of this as an attack on your character, it's not... In fact, it's a form of praise that I want to help you to be perceived as the person you are. I fear that, in this environment, being who one truly is, against the perceptions of others, requires more truth than we are sometimes comfortable with revealing. I see you beginning to splinter under the harsh weight of the events of the last few weeks, and I want to truly and honestly say, that if I have ever caused you harm in the real world through my actions, then I am sorry. It is easy to be relentless when you do not have to hear someone cry. Don't think I want to be friends, I don't. I'm just saying that I view you like I would view any other member of this community. I will help you if you need it, but I won't sacrifice for you or for your causes. And if either of you is reading this thinking, "What the fuck is going on in his head?" then you should step back from the computer, take the time to eat a nice meal, smoke a cigarette if you like, and love something. Love it with all your heart so that you will give up anything to see it endure. If the thing you love in that way is this community, then I won't have to ask you to look beyond your differences. Sincerely, Paul Allan Jenkins Sunday, July 28, 2002