I went to your sheep65 site and get the impression you were educated to university standard. I want to learn to write in a way that doesn't make people grind their teeth so please explain in words a girl who never stayed on for A levels can understand. The reasons behind your comment went straight over my head. How can I make it better? What did I do wrong? Perhaps you would consider rewriting this (or anyone else who feels like it) piece? So I could see where you think I've gone wrong. Hurt me. As long as you help me.