Well, there's no shortage of "girl" in me. I watch many more chick-flicks than the average guy. (BTW, may I suggest "Spitfire Grill"?) Having satisfied the first requirement, I must confess to falling short of the second one--knowing something about poetry. All I know about poetry I learned from: Roses are red, violets are blue. (sigh) It does sound nice, though, and I think you have keyed on a lot of the visuals of that night. Sometimes, the right string of adjectives or phrases don't flow when one needs them to. Like writing a program, when a bug hits and you have spent longer than it should to fix it, put it away and look the next day or day after. As to your request, I like what you have said in the sentence you reference. I had to read it twice to understand the couple was entwined just as the (assuming) moonlight, the tree branches, and the shadows above were. I don't know about tempo, so forget that. Although I hesitate, I would say I'm not sure I like the word conquer as used. It seems to give me the wrong feeling for what is supposed to be a beautiful event. So I wondered if there was a better way to say it. "A passionate feast 'til dawn swept away night," "A passionate feast 'til dawn pushed away night," "A passionate feast 'til dawn chased away night," I think this could possibly be better, but I'm not sure how important that word choice is to you. Hey, at least the tempo sounds the same...grin.