The only thing I could think to tweak might be in the third line of this paragraph (stanza?): I did not want to love at all For love has always brought me pain. I resolved to build a wall, But my resolve was all in vain. I think the rhythm's thrown off because line 1 is eight syllables, but line 3 is seven. Also, lines 2 and 4 are eight syllables, so line 3 tends to pop out when it's read aloud, IMHO. Actually ... now that I re-read it, there are some other odd rhythms. (I don't mean to sound too critical -- I like the poem; just trying to help.) Now that I look at the line counts: 9 -- My mind is nothing but confusion, 6 -- And tears run down my face. 9 -- My life seems like a bad illusion 8 -- With little dignity or grace. 8 -- I did not want to love at all 8 -- For love has always brought me pain. 7 -- I resolved to build a wall, 8 -- But my resolve was all in vain. 8 -- You took my wall down, stone by stone, 8 -- And burrowed deep into my heart 8 -- I'm not sure I can stand alone 6 -- And yet, we are apart. 7 -- Should I stay or should I go, 6 -- And which will hurt the most? 8 -- I can't be with you, that I know. 6 -- Without you, I am lost. I'm not suggesting you should go with iambic pentameter (or quadrameter?), but since your rhyme scheme is ABAB, CDCD, etc., it's most jarring when the number of syllables changes on rhyming lines. Maybe this is too much into the technical aspects of poetry, but it's something to think about when writing rhyming verse, as opposed to free verse. Please keep posting. I'd like to read more of your work.