I think this poem is very graceful. As much as I like the sentiment in the Fogbound poem, I think the rhymes seem more natural in this one. My one suggestion: if the person is debating leaving, something must have triggered it. (The poet suddenly went from his/her lover burrowing in to the two being physically apart.) If I'm understanding your intent, I'd suggest something like this: I'm not sure I can stand alone But now, we are apart. or I'm not sure I can stand alone But now, we stand apart. That's my input. I hope it helps. (BTW: thanks to mechmorph for the analysis. It's really interesting to see a poem examined that way. It shows the craft behind the words.)