This is why I told my husband the only options for us having kids were: 1) Surrogate mother 2) Adoption 3) He gets pregnant BTW: You're missing a word or two in the following sentence: My mother rang and, between sobs, that this was all normal and this too would pass. It's a fun rant, and you have really good action verbs to bring the point across: you snivelled; you howled with gratitude, etc. I can almost hear Dennis Miller in it, but his voice fades at times. I'd suggested strengthening a few of your phrases to get that final, professional edge to it: "I threw myself into work to distract myself and tried to think nice things." "Nice things" is weak. I'd suggest something more like: "I threw myself into work to distract myself and tried to think nice, happy, mommy thoughts." Then again, it sounds like you've lived some Dennis Miller moments. I assume you've let your son know all about the joys of pregnancy whenever he's been in trouble? ;-)