dialyn - you really captured the voice of the child. I could hear him speaking all through the piece. Keeping the narration consistant through the story is really difficult and you did a great job with it. My one problem was that I got lost with who Tank was. I'd assumed that it was his older brother, so when you talked about Tank being with his mom and dad in New Orleans, I thought CB was left behind, maybe staying with an aunt. Then when you said that CB's dad was dead, I re-read the passage several times and still couldn't figure it out. I finally saw the full name for Tank and CB, but I'd glazed over the real names because the nicknames were more interesting. You might want to say something like, "Stupid Tank. What's the point of a best friend if he isn't around when you need him?" to clarify it for the lazy readers like myself. The ending sentence was very strong, not just how the story ended, but how you phrased the ending. ************ nube - your piece was definitely a slice of 50's Americana. I really enjoyed it. You also did an excellent job with keeping the narration consistantly focused. I not only saw the boy, but his nemesis, Amy. (I just see those two squaring off, over and over again, through the years.) I couldn't find anything to nitpick, either. I can envision a Norman Rockwell painting of the scene, the girl marching off, head up high while the boy is staring at her, tongue stuck out at her back. ************ Chuck - I was trying to decide if I should be sad or slightly hopeful at the end of your story. Well done, bittersweet stories are incredibly difficult to pull off, and you really came through on it. As much as I liked the story, a few sentences stuck out a bit to me, such as "The boyish little scream escaped his lips before he could stop it." I had to wonder if Joey would have heard his own yelp that way. Once or twice you step back from Joey's point of view, and it's a bit jarring to me. Except for one or two sentences, you really kept true to the character as well. And if this was only a rush job, I really want to see a story you take some time on! ************ This was a great challenge, Chuck! Boy, has everyone really come through on this one! Who's next to wow us with their work?