Well, Here's my attempt. 491 words. Dead Deal 1974 Chevy Pickup, 30K miles. Needs muffler. labinnac@rellik.com The ad was perfect. Muffler? No problem, thought Neil Buckler. He was looking for a used pickup since he and Josie bought their first home in Buckhall, Virginia last month. A bit rural for the newlyweds, but it was a nice change from their city apartment. Neil e-mailed labinnac@rellik.com and got an immediate reply. Yes, truck in good shape. Needs muffler work. Im getting old. Phone is out e-mailing from library. Want to see truck? The e-mail was odd, but Neil was more interested in the truck. He replied and immediately received directions: Take 234 to Bristow weeping willow on left. Right onto gravel road. 3.5 miles turn left at hole in woods. Neil smiled at the simple directions and put them in his shirt pocket. Neil stopped his Saab at the weeping willow, and to the right was a gravel road. I love this place, he said to himself as he turned onto the gravel road. At precisely 3.5 miles, Neil stopped the car and looked around. He could see no road, but like the directions stated, there was a hole in the woods. Neil Laughed and thought to himself, You wont find this in the city. After four miles, Neil was beginning to feel apprehensive about driving so deep into the woods, then THUD! The Saab halted violently. The front wheels sunk into a small ditch. Neil wished he could back out and go home, but the front wheels could get no traction. He proceeded on foot. Neil walked for what felt like another four miles when he saw the house. It was an old yellow colonial with a large unkept lawn. It had seen better days to say the least. An old man, wiping his greasy hands with a rag, laughed and said, You get stuck in the ditch? Should a warned ya bout that. Yes, my cars stuck about a mile back. Didnt think Id find you. Dont worry the old man said, Well take car of it. He reached into a cooler on the front porch and tossed Neil an ice cold Evian. Thanks! Neil caught the bottle and drank half of it down. So wheres the truck? The old man pointed and said, Come 'round back. Neil followed. As they came around the house Neil could see what looked like a parking lot of BMWs, Audis, Saabs, and more. Then Neil saw a black 74 Chevy pickup, with his Saab on a trailer behind it. Whats going on? Neil asked confused and angry. The old man looked Neil in the eyes, Meat tastes much better when its been arenalized. What the hell does that mean? It means you get a fifteen minute head start. Now RUUUN boy! Neil ran like an Olympic athlete. He glanced back to see two men walk out of the house with scoped rifles and he thought, I hate this place!