"What's the position on derived items?" "It's the same as it was last week." "What was it last week?" "Ummm.... we'll get back to you, k?" ;]

"I am a good person now and it feels... well, pretty much the same as I felt before (except that the headaches have gone away now that I'm not wearing control top pantyhose on my head anymore)"

• Monkeysmell