There are two ways. One is the one i used a above, which is to use a very dense and very lightly fuzzy volume mat (100% density, 20 fuzzy factor, 40 quality.) It rendered rather fast, only 8 minutes with the flame, which by far took most of the render time. Then i stuck a radial inside the candle and have it an intesity of 140...no other changes to the light. The other way to do it i am still trying to get good results from, but it looks promising. I am tryng to use a lightly transparent material with blurry transmissions enabled. The problem is that the render time is much higher and i am having trouble getting the specular halo vs. amt of blurring to have a good balance with eachother. I'll keep working on it.