jstro took the words out of my mouth. We need someone/something to care about. If we don't have a reason to take one side or the other, we tend not to care about the events that unfold. You don't need to personify the machines, necessarily, but if you tailor the descriptions so they match one perspective, you may be able to get the reader to imagine themselves in the scene. It's a good start, but we need to experience what is going on rather than have have someone explain it to us. I think your next draft will bring us in better. Cheers!