I'm almost agoraphobic, except that I'm not really scared of people, and I don't mind being in public so much, so long as I don't have to talk to anyone.

Maybe really need to do is familiarize yourself with the different types of third person writing, presuming you don't already, in which this little snippet I'll post won't help. But hopefully it will. :-) Third Person writing types: 1. Omniscient. With the third person omniscient point of view, the narrator knows everything, allowing the writer to mention the thoughts and feelings of any character, and to insert editorial comments. The narrative can also skip around to different places and times, and fill in backstory at any point. The disadvantages of this point of view are that it is difficult to maintain a consistent voice, it can feel impersonal to the reader, and it is less believable than the other options. 2. Objective. With the third person objective point of view, the narrator knows only what can be heard and seen from outside the characters (think of the narrator as recording events like a movie camera). The thoughts and emotions of the characters are unavailable, so the story must speak for itself. The main disadvantage of this point of view is that the lack of emotion can make it feel very cold and uninvolved. A good writer can make use of small details to compensate, however. 3. Limited. With a third person limited (or limited omniscient) point of view, the narrator knows everything about one character, including thoughts and feelings, but knows the other characters only through that one person. This kind of viewpoint can be so close to the character that it is nearly a first person p.o.v., or it can pull back for a broader view. Because of its advantages, this point of view is often thought of as the default--to be used unless there is good reason not to. 4. Rotating Limited. One way to avoid the limitations of a limited point of view (that only one character is known from the inside) without the disadvantages of an omniscient point of view (impersonality and implausibility) is to use a limited viewpoint that switches between several characters. This allows the reader to get inside more than one character's head, but maintains a consistent narrative voice. Crawford Kilian calls this "episodically limited" third person omniscient.

Your Guide to Self-Proctology by Michael Jackson or how about: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Staples by George LaGeorge