She tore the calendar off the wall and tossed it in the garbage. Another year trashed.

Hey there, Sunshine, whats the chances of another cup? Billy tilted his head in that way that used to break her heart twenty years ago before his eyes disappeared behind the bags and his face became a roadmap of wrinkles.

She didnt look much better, she knew. She turned away from him and pulled the pot out of its holder. Id have to make it up fresh. She poured out the remaining coffee down the drain and watched the brown liquid swirl away. Its not worth it. Youre late as it is.

"Hey, this is a new year. Fresh start you know.

She heard him get out of his chair. She felt his hand on her shoulder. She shook him off and went to the dishwasher. New year. Old lives. Nothings changed but the date.

Theres no talking to you when youre in this kind of mood. Im only working half shift today. Ill be back in time to take you to lunch. You want to go to lunch with me? First lunch of the new year.

She shoved the coffee pot in the dishwasher. She turned and leaned against the machine. She remembered how blue his eyes used to be. They had faded with timebleached of their color just like his hair and skin. Yeah, lunch will be fine. Ill try to be in a better mood by then.

He nodded. Give us a chance this year, Sunshine. We can make it through this.

I dont feel like talking, Billy. Not right now. Later.

He stepped forward to give her a kiss. She turned her face and felt his lips graze her cheek. He heisitated as if to say another word but changed his mind. He picked up his hat and settled it on his head. You couldnt tell he was balding when he was wearing his hat.

The screen door rattled closed behind him. She went into the bathroom and turned the light on as she faced herself in the mirror. It was all written on her facethe years with Billy, the longing for the child that never lived, the moves, the job changes, the love affairs that almost lasted, the aching loneliness.

She was pretty once. She knew she had been. The men stopped and turned when she passed. Now she was invisible to them. All she had left was Billy. And she hated him for that.

She turned the shower on and let the steam fill the bathroom before she bathed. She scrubbed and scrubbed at herself, as if she could scrape the age off her body and find the young woman she had been.

But, in the end, it was no good. The hot water ran out and she was just the same. A new year used to mean a new start and promises. Now it just meant more of the same. Just older, thats all.

The phone rang. She pulled on a robe, hastily wrapped a towel around her head, and went to pick it up, but the answering machine beat her to it.

Hey, Sunshine, I just wanted to tell you. You know, when I look at you, I cant believe how beautiful you still are. I dont think I tell you that enough. That I cant believe you just dont seem to get any older. Youre still as fresh and pretty as that first day I met you, when you had stuck those silly daisies in your hair. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how much well, you know. Dress up pretty for me, will you? Ill take you some place special for lunch. I know we cant afford it. I dont care. I want to show the world how lucky I am. Okay? Okay, Sunshine? Come on, baby, pick up the phone. Please.

He hung on until the answering machined clicked off. She shook her hair free of the towel. She went to the closet and pulled out a suitcase. She started emptying her drawers into the bag and then started crying. Shit. Where would she go? What would she do?

She pulled some tissues out of the box on the vanity and held her hands against her face as her body shook. Shit, shit.

Then even the tears died. Slowly, reluctantly, she took the clothes back out of the bag and put them away. Shit, shit, shit. She put the bag back in the closet and took out a a flowered dress, which she held it against her body. Her reflection was blurred in the dirty mirror hung on the door. He always liked that dress. Well, what would one more lunch hurt? For the new year.