Okay, this is a true story, so I'll be adding to it as I progress through building my computer. All comments welcome, both on the story and on how to build the darn thing. ps, if you don't hear from me again for months, you'll know something went wrong! Shanna :-) Day 1. At last the day has arrived, no more beans on toast for tea for me, I've done the saving and bought all the bits I need to build my new computer. The plan is simple, goodbye horrid old snail speed Pentium II desktop space-hogging yuck of a computer, hello cutie pie Athlon tower of power. There's just one catch, my PII has to die, in order that my Athlon can live. In order to cut my budget down to manageable size, I have decided to reuse some of the components. Perhaps I should make that two catches, although I have upgraded various components, I've never tried to build a computer before, and I don't really know anything about them. The boxes of each new component are lined up neatly on my bed, what to unwrap first? Oh, the joy of it. Armed with my trusty pc maintenance toolkit (it's got 11 bits) I'm about to step into the 21st century. I decide to start with unwrapping the case. It's six hours later. The case is now sitting in it's future home, it looks good there, I'm sure I've made the right decision. All the other bits however remain pristine, boxed (although I have opened each box) encased in their original wrappings. I'll have to move them soon, it's only a few hours until bedtime . Shortly after opening the box with the motherboard in, I remembered that I hadn't done the laundry. Once the washing machine was on I realised it had been more than 4 weeks since I dyed my hair, I needed to get it done before my roots became embarrassingly obvious. Hair dry, shining with false vitality I decided the house could do with a good spring clean in honour of my new computer. That's when I admitted to myself I was afraid to start. Once I start, you see, I will have to pull apart my old, and only, computer. As long as each component stays in it's box, it has the potential to be everything I hoped it would be. If I damage anything, I'm in trouble. I take a deep breath, force myself to get on with the task at hand. It's too late to back down now. So, the manuals. I realise I can put off actually doing anything by studying the manuals. The case doesn't have one, I wonder if I'll ever find out what the strange white plastic box that was just lying loose inside the case is for. Oh well, on to the motherboard. This looks more promising, a quickstart guide, a pdf and an mpeg. I read too fast not really understanding what they mean and turn to the mpeg. Pictures I think, this should be good. The titles fade, revealing a rather attractive oriental woman with the manufacturers name in lime green across her stomach. Hmmm, not sure I trust anyone who wears glitter eyeshadow, I lean forward (it's a tiny picture) I'm sure she's got glitter writing on her face. I take heart from the fact that she announces she will show me how to put a computer together. She looks absurdly pleased to tell me this, but then she hasn't stopped smiling since the video began. I wonder if it makes her jaw ache, then concentrate on the video. I can't help noticing after several minutes that the poor young girl is inflicted with a severe disability for such a pretty little thing. She has remarkably hairy hands, and very unnattractive nails. Every time the camera zooms in to show a component being inserted, I glance down in satisfaction at my own, more wrinkled than they once were, but still feminine fingers. That's when I realise, they didn't trust a girl to put the components together. I start, as she 'apparently' adds the cooling fan over the processor. What did she say? "Thermal grease?" What's that? I pause the video and think. I search my kitchen. I come up with a packet of Lard and a can of WD40. I'm not prepared to experiment this early in my computer building career. Hmmmm. With a lighter heart, having realised I couldn't possibly build my new computer today, on account of having no thermal grease, I decide to tackle the next component. First to hand is the cooling fan, so recently starring in the mpeg I'd just finished watching. No paperwork, but a website to go and read the installation instructions. I congratulate myself on being so wise. If I'd already destroyed my old computer, I could never have gone and found out what to do! The first website I come to has not been written by someone comfortable in the english language. It's also the wrong website, although owned by the right company. I link hop for a while until I find what I hope is the right place. I am concerned that they may be saying completely the wrong thing, on account of not speaking english or being able to tell me their own website address. Lacking any alternatives, painfully reading through the installation pdf, I find that I could have saved myself the bother, you just plonk it on and do up the screws. I'll just have to trust them. Gosh, glitter babe was right, they're mentioning thermal grease again. It's now 23.30 and I really ought to go to bed soon. I can't cope with looking at any more manuals at the moment. I'll build my new computer tomorrow, honestly. I'd have done it today if I had any thermal grease.