Writers should make friends with librarians. Not only are librarians great resources for information, but they also have their share of stories to tell: Reference Interviews reported by American and Canadian library reference desk workers of various levels. Patron: "I'm looking for a book." Mental answer 1: "Well, you're in the right place." Mental answer 2: "Here's one." (Hand over nearest volume.) Audible answer : "Can you be a little more specific?" ===== Patron: "I got a quote from a book I turned in last week but I forgot to write down the author and title. It's big and red and I found it on the top shelf. Can you find it for me?" Mental answer: "Books classified by color are shelved downstairs in the [non-existent] third sub-basement." Audible answer: "What were you looking for when you found the book the first time?" Patron: "Do you have anything good to read?" Reference person getting her audible and mental answers mixed up: "No, Sir. I'm afraid we have 75,000 books, and they're all duds." ===== Telephone patron: Do you have books on leaves? Library worker: Nope, we keep them on shelves. ===== Patron: "I am looking for a globe of the Earth. Ref: "We have a table-top model over here." Patron: "No, that's not good enough. Don't you have a life size one?" Ref (after a short pause): "Yes, but it's in use right now!"