Attached Link: http://www.topten.org/public/BO/BO53.html

This is a bone I've been gnawing on for some time now. I periodically return to wonder if my dreams still fit the person I am now....what seemed so clear before becomes clouded with doubt. So my question is, how are your dreams doing? In truth, my impulse to write or to create graphics is shrinking which tells me that I'm probably moving toward giving up this particular dream. I had a goal to write five novels in five years. I stopped at 2.5 and realized that the exercise was simply that....an exercise that did not not fulfill me, did not satisfy my need for expression. So at what point does one realize a dream may no longer fit, or that dreams aren't enough? Should one try to revive a dying dream or move on in one's life to try to find something else to focus limited energies on? My fingers hover over the delete keys so perhaps I've already made my decision. But I wonder how the rest of you are doing with your dreams. Some of you are at the beginning, which is a wonderful time....the birth of a dream is so full of hope. Some of you are busy fulfilling your dreams, which is an amazingly time of energy and focus. Some of you have fulfilled some of your dreams...and that is very satisfying indeed, but some people get left with the "and now what" syndrom after the celebration of completion. So how are you all doing, dream makers? Where are you on the road and are you dressed in the same dreams that you donned when you started your travel? And I don't want this to be about me, despite the soliquy...I'm not looking for encouragement for myuself here. I'm truly interested in how you are doing with your dreams, and what is keeping you on your path (if you are staying the course) or how you decided to change direction (if the dream no longer fit). Just curious.

Sorry for the misspellings...oh, for an edit key. :(

This was quoted on the Poser forum in relationship to something else, but it struck a chord for me: "If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait." Robert A. Heinlein The question is, of course, how long to wait?

The answer is already in the quote "... when the time is ripe." I don't know how is it for you, but I always know when a subject is ready to come out... I simply cannot keep it close no more... Is has happened to me sometimes: I started a project, went on quicky, then, all of a sudden I had to drop it... If I were going to force it, it won't work... So, I usually drop it... It had happened sometimes that it had come on my mind again, so vivid, calling aloud to be carried on, that I simply had to go back to it... After how much time? I cannot tell, really... Sometimes it has been sleeping for months, sometimes for years... There are even some pieces that are still in that sort of limbo, and I really cannot tell when they'll be ripe, if they ever will be ripe... For all that I know regarding them just now, I can immagine that they are lost forever... But, as I said, I cannot tell if tomorrow, or in a dozen years, I'll find my long ago forgotten characters and projects walking by my side and screaming in my ears untill I put again my hands on them... One thing I've learned: I've stopped to put timing on my dreams, I simply let them to be just dreams untill they ask themseves to come real... Five novels in five years? I really cannot work thus, if I've got five ideas, good! Let them quarrel to come out... Let them withdraw when they are tired or not more satisfying... Will they be all out in five years? I think not, maybe there will be just one, maybe even completely different from the idea of the beginning, maybe the other four can not come out because they already put pieces out of them in the only one to which I gave birth... Maybe my problem, or my good luck, is simply that my dreams are true shapeshifters... (And that I never run out of new dreams...) Okay, you asked, so...

Thank you for your response...I asked because I wanted to know and you provided a very thoughtful answer. Appreciate it.

I think another question is "Why?" Why do dreams change? Do they change because they are squashed? Do they change because we change and realize the dream simply holds no fascination? I know that I have dreamed of writing a successful novel for at least 15 years, but have never had the opportunity to really have a go at it. In the meantime, the novel of my dreams has changed somewhat, though it bears a recognizable resemblance to the original, I think. I've actually had time to try my hand at short fiction. I've received a small share of rejection slips, enough to stop the submissions for a time, but not enough to kill the dream. I'm curious, dialyn, as to why writing the 2.5 novels did not satisfy your need for expression. Did you find you didn't actually enjoy expressing yourself? Were you frustrated that you couldn't express yourself the way you wanted to? Did others not appreciate your expression as much as you thought they would? I personally have too many dreams and interests to be able to work on all of them now. I'd probably need a few lifetimes to accomplish them. But I keep dreaming, and will work on a dream as opportunities present themselves. Joe

Now that I've written the above, I of course find that dialyn's original link addressed it better than I did. Check it out.

It is hard to explain my disappointment in myself...I simply cannot write the way I want to. I don't know why style isn't a choice, but everything I write comes out in a way that is, at heart, disappointing to me. You can tell good crystal from ordinary glass by the sound made if you tap it. My words lacked the crystalline ring, and I could not seem to find a way to create the sound that I wanted. I lack that talent. I don't think it is dishonorable to admit a weakness...that is one of mine (though I have many). I had friends read my novels and, while they liked them in the way a friend likes another friend's efforts, there was nothing in their response that told me that I had done anything at all that I had hoped to accomplish. This is ego, of course, but I'd rather not write than be mediocre about it. There are enough so-so writers cluttering bookshelves these days. I've no interest in being one of that number. And that leaves me thinking about dreams as I sit here at 52 and wonder what is left to me. It's interesting to see how other people come to the question and I am very grateful for the thoughts you've shared.

For myself,most of my dreams have changed as I have grown older and I'm very glad they did. From about age 12 to age 17 my most cherished ambition was to have a celtic band tattooed straight down my body, about 2 inches wide from left temple to left thigh (thank goodness I grew out of that dream before I was old enough to have it done, my parents must have had nightmares about it lol) My writing dreams? I think, like most of my dreams, they have become vaguer and more personal. My 'dream' now is to write something good that will make my reader feel. Something that I will feel is special. It used to be to write something that others would tell me was good, to be a success in the "eyes of the world." I find I care less and less about the world viewing me as a success as I grow older, and more and more about being happy in myself or finding a way to spread a little happiness around. I think, in essence, it's the same dream really. My definitions of success are what have changed along the way. Now I see the reader as important, not me. :-) My drive has always been to create (gardens, making my house a home, pictures, stories, cakes...) that never has changed. Perhaps I'm just happy achieving little things? I think I'm still on track. Shanna :-) Thinks dialyn has a lot left to offer. Including (but not limited to) thought provoking posts in the writers forum :-)

:) Sometimes there are miracles inside small achievements. I like the idea of defining success differently. I've been thinking lately about what do I really need to change about my life to feel happy? I don't know. I don't need a bigger house. I like my friends and pets. I don't think more money would do it. My job is not so terrible...it may be a little boring but I have a lot of freedom. I have sufficient for myself and enough to share. What is the "more" that I need? Maybe I don't, in fact, need more at all. Not so far from your idea, Shanna. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

Workin' on it every single day. My New Year's resolution was to submitt, submitt, submitt. I'm trying different styles and spending more time in front of the terminal than ever.

Persistence pays off, I've heard tell. "Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work." - Stephen King

Dianne: You ever wonder if you are your worst critic? Ever think you may be reaching for the golden ring when the silver one would provide you with enough? What if those who read a novel of yours weren't worthy of reading it? Though it sounds enigmatic, I'll shut up with, "What if?"

No, my readers are intelligent and honest. They were exactly the readers I needed, better than most writers could hope for. They didn't give me praise I didn't deserve. They told me what I needed to know. It was never about whether or not I could get published, but whether I could accomplish what I intended with my writing. The fault is not with the readers but the weakness of my writing. As for settling for second best, I guess you have to answer for yourself if doing something in a mediocre way is satisfying to you or do you strive to do something better each time? Are you equally happy when your child brings back A's as when a C shows up on the report card? Do you want a second class surgeon working on you if you have to have surgery? Are second class brakes good enough to put on your car? Is silver good enough when you hoped to grab the platinum ring...it's the same color, afterall...so what difference does it make? Only in how valued it is. If you drive into sand, you can spend you time spinning your wheels. I got out of the car. Asked for advice to determine if the car was worth salvaging. Someone else would make a different decision. But then they probably had a better car to begin with than I do. Thank you all for your insights. I don't think it hurts to try on a dream once in awhile and see if it still fits. I see people all the time get stuck in an idea they had 20 years ago, with no recognition that perhaps the idea has not grown and changed as they have. Some dreams last a lifetime. Some dreams needed to be discarded or revised to a better fit. Many thanks. This dialogue has helped me realize the choice has already been made.

Well, I doubt that I've ever had the best surgeon. I've settled for someone less competent, I'm sure, but I've been satisfied. And read many authors who aren't the best author but found great satisfaction. Haven't driven the best car made but I love my Hondas. A lot of people love Stephen King but I think you would agree he's not the best writer ever. What if he had decided he wasn't the best and never wrote for the public at all? I think you get my point. (I probably just don't get yours...[smile])

Stephen King may not be the best writer ever, but I believe with my whole heart that he accomplished his dream. This isn't about who is the best of show. Technical skill is easy to achieve. It's about something more elusive and personal. Dreams are about passion. And writing is about communicating that passion. It's more than words scattered on a page. But you know that.

"Man is not the sum of what he has but the total of what he does not yet have, of what he might have." - Jean Paul Sartre