I have this 'thing' about spiders, which basically goes something like this... A spider enters the room, it is small enough that if it wanted to, it could probably balance on the head of a pin. In my mind it's shadow is spread along one entire wall and half way across the ceiling. From the second I have spotted it, nothing else exists in the world. My eyes helplessly follow it wherever it goes. I think something along the lines of "Ewwww....urghhh.....aarrrgghhhhh! Get all eight of those horrible legs away from my house, and stop looking at me!Stop moving like that, it's creeping me out. No, please! don't go that way (at this point I'm practically standing on the sofa)go away, go out the window..Leave this house at once. (wailing quietly, so as not too attract it's attention in case it hasn't noticed me yet) Not there. No! Not in my bedroom dammit!" I'll now be sleeping on the sofa in wellington boots,(they're not creeping and crawling over MY feet!) armed with the hoover for secure containment of evil spider interlopers, (although if I catch one I'll have to put the hoover in the kitchen, close the door and put a towel against the bottom of it, while I spend the night worrying that it has broken out of the hoover bag and is coming for revenge) and my washing up gloves. I used to have a shower cap to protect my hair, but it was taken away from me when I ran screaming round the house having found a spider lurking in it. This outfit is the housewife equivalent of dressing to deal with a serious biohazard. The very idea of touching a spider leaves me on the verge of vomiting. No, that's wrong. The idea of me touching a spider is ridiculous. I wouldn't even consider it. I actually can't even imagine it. What I mean is the idea of a spider touching me, or even touching my clothes if I'm wearing them. I don't want them walking on me. That unfortunately, is all too easy to imagine. It's embarrassing, but true. I've been told that spiders don't even notice people, but I've seen them scurry around corners to hide and then cautiously creep out just a little check if the coast is clear. I've seen them pause to check the situation out when a noise disturbs them. They know what they are doing. So, in light of this fact, which merely skims the surface of the way I feel about spiders (I am itching at the thought of them) I should have known that watching the film "Eight Legged Freaks" last night was a mistake. I did try my best to watch it WITHOUT seeing the spiders, but that was a lost cause from the start. Once I'd started watching it, I had to watch it until the end. If I don't see the good guys defeat the evil spiders, I'll have nightmares for weeks. At the time of writing, I have my feet tucked underneath me on my computer chair, wellingtons stood ready beside it with a paper tissue on top of each one so no spiders can sneak up the side of the boot and hop in while I'm not looking. My washing up gloves are on top of my printer. I have removed my dressing gown from the back of the chair, in order to leave no easy cloth routes up to where I'm hiding. The hoover is plugged in ready to go, just to my right. My hair is plaited and pinned up (I once got a tiny bat caught in my hair, that was weird enough) I'm not giving a spider a chance to hop on my hair, so I've minimized the available surface area. From time to time, I start and I shudder, convinced I can feel something on my toes, my back, my neck, the chair. I tell myself the chances of it being a 'you know' are slim, but even a stray hair falling onto the back of my neck as my hair tries to come undone (caused by my frantic patting of my head when I thought there was something on it) is enough to make me jump. My family have now officially banned me from watching horror films with spiders in, or comedy films with spiders in for that matter. Even my son turned around this morning (finding me perched on my chair) and announced "Mum, there's some things you just can't do." So, now you know the thing I just can't do :-) How about you? Shanna :-) Not even allowed to watch Spiderman :-(