"Real" I am real, As I sift the dust in my hands, and watch it settle on the ground. The hard, unyielding ground, that pulses at the beat of my steps. The smells, the lingering senses: I pay tribute to my mortality. My hard, unyielding flesh that rises and falls like the crest of an ocean, parts the air and strikes the bed. And I am flying. The speed, the rush of wind. These are not thoughts of the divine, rather, I am toyed upon by demons of laughter. And my will breaks. And they show me such images, such scenes of lights of deception, that I rage at the feel of myself. In the hard, unyielding ground, I pound my flesh to the floor of my cell, I look at my hands, and the imprint on the tiles, and I yell. I am real? Ian F. Brillembourg

great poem Ian, love the strong imagery. The line "I pay tribute to my mortality," makes me want more of that moment, also, "I look at my hands, and the imprint on the tiles," really strong line, to me anyway. I wanted more here, in some way it seems as if it could be a part of the tribute. All in all good poem. I look forward to reading more of you. Azha !)

"Every line means something."
Jean Michel Basquiat

A few of your alliterations throw me off guard, like how can hard and unyielding flesh rise and fall like the crest of an ocean... but all in all an interesting piece that demands thought. One thought S2 L6 could read 'such scenes of light and deception.'

On s2 l3 rather, I am toyed upon by demons of laughter. I would think "I am but a toy for demons of laughter", or "Demons of laughter toy with me", because I have trouble with the term "toyed upon". It reminds me of the movie brainstorm when they were view the tape of the psychotic episode.

Overall, I really like the imagery of the poem and the off-kilter references. Like Charmz, I was also thrown by the hard, unyielding flesh reference. I wondered if the reference it to help establish the subject's insanity but he recognizes his mortality, so I would have thought he'd see his flesh as anything but hard. (Hard implies to me tough.) As always, though, you've given us a poem that makes us think. Thanks!

All aliterations are intentional in the poem. They are a bit incoherent, but I was attempting to make a point. Thanks for all the comments, guys!

Trying diving full belly-flop into the ocean - you'll soon see just how hard and unyielding the damn stuff is! Seriously, I think it's courageous to try new image-melds even if they stretch logic a little. After all it's a poem not a thesis - and I enjoyed it.