I sit here in the darkness, reading the old letters... staring at Your picture , and the tears slide down my face as if it were only a few hours instead of weeks that You left my life. I pull out the memories one by one, brushing them free from dust Smoothing out the wrinkles, and I caress them with my heart... Wanting to remember, wanting to hold them close to me I stare at the telephone, and will its ring to my ears, and that Your voice will softly whisper to me as it once did... Then.... In the stillness of the night... I realize... The silence. The emptiness. The constant, frantic beating of hope's wings in my chest that threatens to steal my sanity... Those little threads that You held out for me to grasp Become not lifelines any longer...only spiderwebs.... And I know... It's time to say goodbye. I cannot hold on to something that never was... As sand that is fisted too tightly...You only slid through my fingers more quickly... And now, I am the one who is left behind... While You move on... So...I pack up my fragile memories, passing my hands over each one last time...my tears spill to join them in their little chest...Your picture I lay carefully to the top, letting my eyes memorize Your face, before closing the lid, and sealing the lock. I rise to my feet and like a noiseless ghost, pass from my room to the outdoors, feet skimming the dew laden grasses until I reach the riverbank, and I kneel...and gently place the chest into the boyant waves that carry You from my embrace... and I watch as You disappear from my view..wondering as You go...if that river will drift You into the sea of forgetfulness for me.... Knowing that it won't...the tide will once again bring You back to me...and my heart will gather You close yet again...I cannot say goodbye.... I watch....and I grieve. It will never end. Not for me.