Hahahahahahahahahahahaah i am very sorry but when me mate sent me this i could not stop laughing , yes i know i know evil evil man hahaha sorry but even now i am thinking of showing this to my kids if they get out of line hahahahaha If Santa Existed There are approximately two billion children ( persons under 18 ) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to about 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo and a few white hairs.... Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. Merry Christmas sorry but me think it funny hahha no offence intended

But Santa is magic, so therefore your reasoning doesn't apply. He does exist, he does, he does! Love esther

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And anyway how do the presents get under the tree then? Well, math-boy, answer me that? You can't can you? You don't have an explanation! So there! Love esther

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Santa's dead ... the Easter Bunny killed him. With Nerf ammo, no less.

Santa is a living spirit...you can see him in others if you look hard enough and you can feel his touch inside you if you have the right heart. And yes, he is magic.

Hhahah ppl ppl ppl dont take this too serious will you it is ment as a joke ok jeesh seeklight

Oh now come on math-boy, just because I pasted your first post into an email that I sent to my best friend and that I nearly fell of my chair laughing doesn't mean I think the post is funny. And you still haven't explained how the presents get under the tree have you? hehe. Okay I don't think anyone here will take your post seriously. Relax! Love esther

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Well thats simple all the mummys and daddys do that so ner ner ne ner ner seeklight ; )

o and ps please refrane from calling me math boy i been called many things in the past and math boy aint one of em lol

So, you think it's the parents that do it math- er seeklight? that's an interesting theory, so where's your fancy mathematical proof for that then huh? Your supposition, based on no fact at all, does seem rather unlikely. Next you'll be telling the santa I saw with my very own eyes in the shopping centre yesterday isn't real either. I suppose he was some sort of hallucination? Love esther

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No no no no no. Santa can suspend time. tch.

I think in Santa Claus: The movie, they said time stops while Santa is making his rounds.

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This is true Martian. Father time stops it so Santa can complete his task on Christmas. :)

Sheesh !!,,Father Time suspends time while Santa works ? Does that mean Santa doesn't get paid overtime rates for working outside normal working hours ?? :(

Uh... He's in his own little "time bubble" kind of thing... it just SEEMS like time is moving at the correct rate, but it's moving by really slowly... minutes seem like hours.. even days... He spends it all looking at the toys for kids and thinking about it all and what it means... And they give him overtime.

OT titled; OT destined. Cres the Grinch.

Just to clarify a point: The Santas at the mall are NOT THE REAL SANTA. Sorry to spoil everyone's Christmas, but come on and get real: do you really think the real Santa would visit your mall? Maybe the Mall of America. But your podunk mall? I don't think so. Besides, Santa is too busy up at the North Pole, dealing with the elf labor union and reindeer animal-rights union and the fair-toy-to-children provisions. Instead, he sends "Santa Helpers" to the malls, all of which have telepathic implants. That way, when kids tell the mall Santa what they want, their list is transmitted to the big guy at the North Pole. Then, on Christmas Eve, Santa flies around the world on his sleigh. Obviously, based on the physics above, he can't do it in one night. But, that reasoning is so 3-dimensional. He's Santa Claus! Of course he uses a mutli-dimensional transportation device. To him, it takes almost a year to hit all the houses, but to you and I, he does it in one evening. (That's called relativistic physics, by the way.) And how do you think he gets into thin chimneys... or houses without chimneys? Answer: he doesn't. Since 3-D space is meaningless to him, he simply materializes in the living room, places the gifts and leaves. In the early days, his vehicle would blend into the living room by posing as a fireplace (since, back then, everyone had one). So, if a child caught a glimpse of Santa, they would see him go into the fireplace and disappear.