.....The one you've seen a thousand times, or the one no-one has a really good answer for. My candidate is: "Why does my character disappear when I load clothes?" I love that one :o)

I always like to see "which is better (or which should i buy) P4 or P5?" and "is poser art?" and "are poser users artists?"

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I'll second Fish's nomination for the most frequently asked. My suggestion for the one no-one has a good answer for: "What causes gymbal lock?"

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LOL... I think it's "does anyone have a serial number for Poser 5?" or some other warez question...

"Where can I get [insert name of program or Poser accessory item here] for free?"

LOL great minds think alike 8-)

Not so much the Ultimate question, but the one that makes me sigh and skip to the next thread: "How do I get clothing to stick to my figure?"

"When will Poser 6 be out?"

"Will Poser 6 be any good?"

Take your pick 8-)

"How do I make Vicky look like me?"

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Oh! Oh! Oh! "Can anyone explain to me real quick how to make my own clothes?"

My poser 5 locks up with rendering.

is poserstyle down again?? lol

"How do I explain to my girlfriend what I am doing?"

Out of memory error message! Help!!! mac

I'm upgrading my computer. What should I get to run Poser better?

"How can I protect my children from so much nudity displayed in the galleries?"

"That's another fine mess you got me in to!" -- Oliver Hardy

'I'm probably stupid/dumb/idiot/pebkac/id10t/sorry/foolish/numb/not getting this'..;) fill in the rest..it's usually for python scripts, morph edits, or something I haven't even Begun to look at yet..;)

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)

"I have this problem when I try to make the breasts really large they kind of look pointy. How do I fix that?"

Part 2 "How do I make the bikini fit after I made the breasts really large?"

ROFLMAO

"I just downloaded DAZ3DVictoria. Where can I buy clothes for her?" Followed by over a hundred "I'm in before it got locked!" responses.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAHA;D

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How many MTs will I be needing? How many colors can a Render Engine Trace, and where does angelfire come from? Who is W*@!&$, and how is his sidekick P&!

Who is Victoria ? My interface is screwed up, how can I restore it ? You all make wonderful art in the galleries, how can I do the same with only Poser ? I spent half an hour on my scene and it still doesn't look as great as yours.< Firefly is making checker squares on Koz hair ! Help ! Is nudity really art ? Who elected someone to make the TOS anyway ? How many inches a PNU exactly is ?

Message edited on: 05/25/2004 16:50

Why is there no morph to make the Mille Boy a huge wanker and the Girl floating titties????

L'ultima fòrza è nella morte.

(sarcasm)I have no more freedom of speech...I'm leaving never to return(sarcasm off) ;)

Is Daz Studio going to replace Poser

Why do I get the shrugging shoulder man(I even asked that one~red faced~)

My render crashes, but I let it run all night & I only have 256-512k ram & I only have 5G of HD space left and I only have 13 characters in it :O

Message edited on: 05/25/2004 17:13

"Which video card should I get to make Poser render quicker?"

Dont forget this one: Help!! This item is made for poser 5. Im trying to use it in poser 3. Why wont it work. What can I do to make it work. Is there a poser guru in the house that can help me?

||| dlk: My render crashes... only 13 characters... ||| Coffee spit!!!!!! Clean up screen!

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Why do I have jaggies??? Answer typically is: Try rendering at 300 DPI it makes my render look so much better ROFLMAO!!!!!!

Why is the skirt flapping up when I have the girl sit down...

I have 1 pixel of poke thru..how do I fix.

The ultimate Poser Forum question? drumrollllllll..... "Where is the damn 'MAKE ART BUTTON'!" ;oP JV

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"What's with Victoria's eyebrows?"

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The ultimate question... "What are the parameter dials?" seen that question a while back on a poser forum though I can't remember which one. I believe there were roughly 30 replies of 'read the manual'!!

Ultimate questions: "Which celebrity does this character remind you of?" "How big is your runtime?" Ultimate topics: "Help!!!" "I'm about to tear my hair away!! What the hell is wrong?!?"

"Ultimate topics: "Help!!!" "I'm about to tear my hair away!! What the hell is wrong?!?" " Aye, the good old non-specific "Help". I don't even look in those threads any more. Meaningful titles are standard courtesy to me.

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(1) "Is there any way of making Judy/Don/Adam less ugly?" (2) "Why does a fart smell ?"

Hmmm... these are all good suggestions. :-) I think for me it'd be a toss-up between: Set the nudity flag! and Stop censoring us by making us use a nudity flag! ;-) bonni

"When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." - Bette Davis

How about: Help! My Poser window is stuck in the upper left corner? and "When I move my character the feet stay glued to the floor" followed by: "Why won't V3 work in the face room" But the ultimates are Vickies eyebrows and how to clothe a character without replacing it with the clothes.

This list is to be seen with tongue in cheek - ironically. Remember, people - Questions, even extremely silly ones, are ALWAYS allowed. I've been in the 'Replaced figure with clothes', 'Render hangs', 'Get clothes to fit some other figure', 'Window stuck in upper corner', 'Feet glued to floor' etc etc situations myself many, many times lol. So don't run and hide if you're a noob and want to ask - for goodness' sake. Ask away! I always try to answer stuff like this - I know exactly how it feels to be totally confused by the odd workings, the strange interface, the new way of thinking that is Poser. After all I'm still just learning this. That I've been at it for 6 years doesn't change that at all. The questions just get more involved is all. The only questions I DON'T like are the 'Serial # for Poser' warez things, and 'Where can I find Vicky for free!' Oh, and the 'nudity is baaaad' and 'Protect our children from naked meshes!' of course lol. Well, the prime question still stands: 'Can Poser renders be considered art?' :o) And the answer is 'A cup of tea'. ... and I'm going to have one right now. So there. :] Fish

I have a confession to make. We all laugh at those 'clothes replace the figure' questions, but when it's late at night and I really should go to bed but there's one more change of clothing I want to try (breathe), I still sometimes double click on the library icon. There, I've said it. But at least all those years of using Poser has taught me to click on the 'cancel figure change' button. :D

Hehe I double click on clothes about every day. And then sit fuming, waiting for the "replace" window to pop up so I can cancel it L I've also forgotten to turn off IK before moving an otherwise perfectly posed character so that it was stretched all out. Strangely enough I haven't had Poser 5 "go northwest" yet, not totally at least. It has always had the title visible so that I could move it back. I've had it 1000000 of times in PPP though. So yes, even us "oldtimers" make the same stupid mistakes again and again. The only difference is that we now KNOW how to fix it (or for that matter knows what can't be fixed, as in : "How do I get my dynamic hair into Bryce?" By now we also know where to get Vicky (sadly not for free though, but...) and what the serial number of our Poser is :o)

EnglishBob: Me too - either that or delete clothing item 1, then hit delete again without selecting the second piece of clothing and lose my figure.

delete clothing item 1, then hit delete again without selecting the second piece of clothing and lose my figure. AAARGH yes!! More times than I care to remember.

How about - you think you clicked on the hair or sword or whatever - you think it says "Delete current object?" and hit Enter. But what it said was "Delete current figure?" and your Vicki's gone.... for good lol. :] Fish quick button pusher

Oh, and the 'nudity is baaaad' and 'Protect our children from naked meshes!' of course And lately we've had "Protect our children meshes from nudity!" ;-P bonni

"When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." - Bette Davis

Best questions:

Can someone send me the blMilWom.obj file? It didn't come with my version of Poser.
Can someone send me a serial number for Poser 5? I lost mine.
How can I get Poser 5 to work better under Windows 98, running at a 640x480 screen size? How do I get Poser 5 to work better under Windows 95? How about under Windows 3.1? And don't tell me to upgrade. I can't afford to spend the $99, especially after spending $1,500 at DAZ last month. Besides, I'm using a 1978 dot matrix printer which isn't supported under Windows XP. And, no, I will not give my money to the evil, money-grubbing companies that make those pretty photo-printers. I refuse to upgrade every few years just because some companies claim they've "improved" technology. My dot matrix is good enough for letters, so don't tell me I need to upgrade.
How can I speed up Poser on my 133Mhz 486DX machine? Is there some kind of memory enhancer I can buy? Would a better video card help? Would I really see an improvement if I bought a 3.2Ghz Pentium IV computer? Best non-questions:
Look at this image I made with Poser (posts a screen shot from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within).
Look at this image I made with Poser (posts a heavily-postworked image of an obscure Playboy playmate).
Look at this image I made with Poser (posts an image that was rendered in Vue, then postworked in Photoshop to the point of looking like a painting).
I have a scene with 10 figures and clothing. It crashes Poser every time I try to render it. Please solve my problem without knowing what operating system I use and without knowing anything about my computer.

Actually, the best I've seen recently was, "Will everyone please send me a dollar via PayPal?" :-p bonni

"When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." - Bette Davis

you can send me a dollar via paypal. allan74@shaw.ca :) really you can

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Will everyone please send me a dollar via PayPal?" Yeah I found that amusing also. Go mow some more lawns. ROFL

Luckily, this list hasn't stopped the newer folks from asking those same questions.... Just look at the titles of the threads after this one. I'd almost think it was a parody if I didn't know better!

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Awesome thread! I've only been here a few months, but I'd say definitely the nudity questions are the most frequent... "I'd like my 8-year-old to play with Poser, but I'm worried about all the nudity. Are there any characters that aren't naked?" If you ask me, Poser is definitely for 16 and up, just considering the complexity of the program alone, never mind the nudity and morphing gentials and fairy breasasis and elf penises and whatnot. And the magnets. What the hell do the magnets even do? Damned if I know. I stay away from those things. I also see a lot of questions like "Do you know where I can get a character that looks like (insert name of famous person, i.e. Bilbo Baggins/David Bowie/C3PO/Martha Stewart/Colin Powell/Dubya/etc)." Personally, I'd figured by now there'd be hundreds of free versions of characters for, let's say, The Beatles, but I haven't see even a character for Ringo Starr! Funnily enough, I noticed that RIGHT AFTER that Mel Gibson "Jesus" movie came out, DAZ had a character called "The King." And it looked suspiciously like the dude from the "Jesus" movie, and not at all like Elvis! Go figure. "I just bought the 'Dubya' character from DAZ, and I'm wondering what I could do to get his mouth to close. Is this a glitch in the character or is he supposed to be like that?" :) -- MoxeyH

Yes, thank goodness it doesn't stop the questions! I mean that's what this place is about after all lol.... :] Fish

MoxeyH: Answer to your question: "I'm afraid the Dubya character is like that. We couldn't get the mesh to behave better. It's a rework of the P3 Chimp mesh you understand, and after reworking it, there were some odd gaps. So it was much better in the original Chimp form than it is now. But still, it sells well. Note: The Dubya character is NOT Mimic compatible as is. You need to get 6 speechwriters, an earpiece, a set of golf clubs and 15 TV prompts in a semicircle around him. Use the new Mil Environment prop to mount the prompts. And don't miss the NEW Saddam character, now available too! Based on the Gorilla mesh. A perfect companion for Dubya. Gives him a meaning in life. He might even get along without the golf clubs!" :] Fish

Note: The Dubya character is NOT Mimic compatible as is. You need to get 6 speechwriters, an earpiece, a set of golf clubs and 15 TV prompts in a semicircle around him. ROFLMAO!!! Careful, we don't have an OT forum any more ;-)

Oh man this was a funny thread, thanks for the laughs people!!:)

I'm a noob and I loved this thread. I hate the "how do I protect my kids", well chances are the lil boogers are seeing it somewhere.....do they watch tv? or go to school? I'm happy I never posted the disappearing clothes question which I've had several times in the past (maybe I should change my name to "Notorious Double Clicker"). At least I've got an answer to that question. As far as the serial questions go.......LEARN TO HACK IT YOURSELF MORON. Do you expect everyone to do it for you? Or better yet, do what I did and save up your money and by the program, you get a pretty box and a great big book to go with it! kristta

Wait ... another dilemma ...

"How come [insert male character's name] doesn't have a willy?"

or

"How do I stop his willy from sticking out of his pants?" ... or "Where can I get a bigger one?"

Message edited on: 05/26/2004 13:52

I had forgotten the post I love best : You get an e-bot saying that someone has answered a thread you're interested in, you click on the link, reach feverishly to the bottom of the thread and you read : .

Oh but at least there's a purpose with the "." I also find them mildly annoying when I hope for an answer to a question I asked and find only a period. But at present it is the easiest way of bookmakrking a thread. Another way is to set the dot, then as soon as the post is posted, delete it again. You still gets ebots from that thread. The downside is that everybody that has psted before you also gets an ebot saying you posted something, yet they find nothing when they check out the thread. A "bookmark this" option would be a cool improvement.

Well, it's not exactly one question, but ...

"How do I get color on the figure?"
"What's a good color for skin?"
"What's a good color for the lips?"
"How do I make eyebrows and eyelashes?"
"How do I make it look real?"
"How do I ... ?"
"How do I ... ?"
"How do I ... ?"
"How do I ... ?"

(Repeat 30+ times in a month.)

"Who wants to buy my new skin texture I made all by myself?"

Message edited on: 05/26/2004 14:22

Hehehehe Crescent.....

Tee hee funniest thread I seen in forever! chimp mesh OMG ha ha ha ha! Aw but seriously reading this list I think I've asked about half these questions. This MONTH! But I'm starting to figure out what most of the Poser stuff is aboot. :) You guys rock!

LMAO at this thread...and am sure it can go on past infinity!! I believe the most serious and often repeated question I can think of over the years is: "I keep getting an 'out of memory' halt in Poser....Help!"

My two favorite: 1) Where's the Poser forum? and 2)What's the ultimate Poser Forum question?

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How the ... did this old thread resurface? Well never mind, it was a hilarious (re-)read :o)

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Forum: Poser - OFFICIAL

Subject: What's the ultimate Poser Forum question?

Forum: Poser - OFFICIAL

Subject: ** What's the ultimate Poser Forum question? **

Subject: What's the ultimate Poser Forum question?