Some of you may have read this, erm, somewhere else, but for those who haven't and care, here it is. Well, where to begin. My hospital bills at this point are approaching 30 grand and growing daily. Physical therapy every day and wound treatment. 300 bucks a day. The wound is causing me a considerable amount of pain. They just removed a stitch from INSIDE the wound yesterday that no one even knew was there and no one knows a reason for. It wasn't a pleasant experience. I'm still stalled trying to get regular medical treatment, which means I have no insulin, which means that the wound will heal very slowly, if at all, and I'm still open to any number of diabetes related complications. I'm frankly very scared by that, because I'm just not feeling right. I can't put my finger on the problem, I can only say I don't feel right. I'm usually better than that at self diagnosis. I'm still having to spend much time in bed. I haven't been able to return to working yet, despite two projects waiting for me. I missed a deadline, and I have NEVER missed a deadline before. It made me feel really horrible. The projects waiting for me are the kind of work I enjoy, and I want to get back to them, but I just can't sit up long enough to get anything useful done. I have the background done for one of them, but I still have to import and texture the main figure, hoping it turns out really well. Money is still a serious problem. I am eating well, and watching what I eat, Not following all the rules, but if I did everything the docs say you're supposed to do, I'd be asking them to remind me what it is I'm working to stay alive for. My last blood sugar count was 194, which really isn't too bad considering. The woman who was giving me rides to the hospital disappeared, a family emergency I think. Still no one to clean the house, and it really isn't healthy here. I feel sorry for anyone who ever cleans it lol. Makes me look like a horrible slob. I'm still weak and very tired. Partly from the diabetes and my other illnesses, partly from having a huge slash in my leg constantly bleeding and hurting. I try to keep my spirits up, and all my friends help, but life is a little overwhelming for me at the moment, more than I can handle really. So I have times when I'm very low. I wake up every morning, way too early, to go do the hospital thing. I swear I'm gonna call every day to cancel my transportation and take a day off, but really, I can't do that. But it gets very tiresome to go every day and let them inflict pain on me. At least the PT people are gentle about it as they can be. The doctor is a complete idiot when it comes to basically just ripping off the dressing and then seeming to have no clue how to put it back on. And you kow if it was their leg being treated that way they'd be screaming and hollering about it. I want to be like, normal again, even if my normality wasn't all that hot. I'm also lonely as hell, but then, i have been for a long time. When I go to take my physical therapy and whirlpool to clean my wound, they put this chlorosomething in the water. It reacts with blood, and I bleed. The blood turns green, and then it floats up to the top of the water so it looks like I'm in the whirlpool with little flakes of parsley. Hey, it struck me funny. Aside from the fact that the whirlpool hurts like hell. And Kate, I been REAL hungry for salami lol

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