Forum: Writers


Subject: Feedback?

TheAlex opened this issue on Jun 20, 2004 ยท 4 posts


TheAlex posted Sun, 20 June 2004 at 6:17 PM

Hello all,

I come requesting a favour. I've written a poem today which isn't in my usual style as such (the poem in my gallery is for example), I usually have a clue when I've written something on whether it's good or not, but with this one I'd like some opinion. Basically is it good or is it crud? Or what bits are good and what bits are crud? It's always interesting to hear how people interpret the meaning of a poem too, so anyone who wants to do that go ahead.


A year has passed
A thousand winds have changed
Some remain the same

The leaves have blown atop the trees
Winds have blown them from their boughs
Theyve settled on the ground

Decomposed, life returned
There are leaves atop the trees
Again. A leaf glides down

And on my hand, I see
the end of spring.
Through all the winds

The shifting tides and
How those leaves have changed
One remained the same.


Thanks in advance for any critical feedback, I'll be happy to help anyone in return. :o)


tjames posted Sun, 20 June 2004 at 6:27 PM

S2l1 should be grown ? as to whether winds change or remain constant if your theme is constancy or change...I would go for the constancy through those changes...


TheAlex posted Sun, 20 June 2004 at 6:44 PM

The underlying theme is constancy rather than change.


tjames posted Mon, 21 June 2004 at 7:14 AM

Then the wind should be constant...