It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news.

Please join me in remembering a great icon
of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The gravesite was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man that never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but later life was filled with turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of
his dough on half-baked schemes, despite being a little
flaky at some times, he still, as a crusty old man, was
considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral will be held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

He, he.