_I wrote these few words this morning: "...It seems that it more or less always pisses all those "brave" people we see, wanting to be our "respected leaders" off, the ones who want us to "think right" and to be "politically correct", as "prefectly" as they think they "think" & as "perfect" they think "they are", and their lives were setting such a universal example. It seems that it pisses them off when you do not live the same way they do." People are like that. Maybe because "all what's or who's different from me is/might be: strange, weird, dangerous, hostile to me, and because this difference scares me, well, anyway I suppose then that I sure would have to hate it". ..But in the end I might find too that turning my mind this way, round & round in such a stupid loop, is such a stupid fear, and that maybe I'm just stuck inside it, inside this stupid dead-end loop... _So why would I be different than them, feeling & thinking differently and thinking that I might be right too, and why not thinking that I am right disagreeing with them: They never asked me if I like the world they prepared for me, even before I was born, after all...So,I see no reason to say 'yes" or "amen" to all or to everything they say or tell systematically, because, as far as I could see,I found that most of them generally used to lie & cheat on me (and on you too) most of the time, or, at least too much often so that I still could listen without being doubtful about anything they still have to say. I never chose the world I was born in. Who did ? Some have chosen in my place the world i am living in, and it's my duty & my problem trying to change it as I would think I'd love it like, for I have the same rights as them when they wrote their own books. That's what they said: I was supposed to have the right to be "free". That is in their "Constitutions" written in their books, and they forced me to read & learn thir books. This right I had read, then I will practice it fully, and listen to them fully when they wrote I am free. For in their books was they gave me the right to say: "NO", or, if I haven't got this right, I would think & declare "I do not trus you" if it happened to be or to become obvious that they told lies when they said "I was free"..if they refused my:"NO", then I'd know I would HAVE to fight them because in this case, it would be obvious they cheated on me, or betrayed the trust that I was wrong to put in them and in their books. No one that doesn't want to harm me should to ask me who I am, and as well I am not supposed to have to go in a desert to obtain from them that they give me this piece of peace & freedom just not questioning me. I can want to answer, but maybe only when I am not questioned....And you know, I just know the ones who have a problem with this, are the ones who want to harm me..and you. And to those ones only, I will have nothing to tell. _All of this might be the reason why too I don't get along too much, and why I do not care too much improving who I am in their so perfect, so perfectable, so respectable ways, or what they call art, or anything they want to "call" in their minds that love to "classify" and put me in this or that category . I'm asking myself: "But what do they want ? To know what ?... And the only answer I find is: What they don't know, why do they think I would know more than them ? I do not. If I pretend I am not "a nosy beast", which would be scary, then I do not answer & and I have no answer for those strange "nosy beast" that could be my brothers & sisters, my fathers or mothers, my kids. _It is so strange that you ask to the ones who do not know more than you. That seems scary to me too, Pals, for I am like you all: I DON'T KNOW."