orbital opened this issue on Dec 17, 2004 · 61 posts
orbital posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 5:31 AM
Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to
others that you "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for random times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting
entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
Honk and wave to strangers.
Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
movies.
Wear your pants backwards.
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary
mints by the cash register.
Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's
"Metal Machine Music".
ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Pay for your dinner with pennies.
Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/ OJ
Simpson conspiracy theories.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Light road flares on a birthday cake.
Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until
physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
Leave extra long forum messages at Renderosity.
draculaz posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 6:24 AM
ahhh... my wish list this xmas! :D
RobertJ posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 7:13 AM
Seen that, done that.
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
Gog posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 7:24 AM
ROTFL
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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.
Gog posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 7:25 AM
You missed off post a forum answer containing only LOL, ROTFL or similar :)
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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.
Rayraz posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 7:44 AM
Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. My sis LOVES to do that!! lol, sooooo irritating indeed!
(_/)
(='.'=)
(")(")This is Bunny. Copy and paste bunny into your
signature to help him gain world domination.
bandolin posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 8:01 AM
One of my favourites is visiting a china shop and saying OOOPS!
<strong>bandolin</strong><br />
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tjohn posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 8:44 AM
Those things are annoying? Oops. Sorry. :^) Tempted now to start doing the "Ooh la la" one, though. Ooh la la, gotta go now.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
tjohn posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 8:54 AM
Ooh la la, (last one, I swear) you didn't have my favorite: Be sure to use your cell phone frequently and speak loudly so no one can miss the fact you have a cell phone and know how to use it. The more public and inappropriate place you choose to do this, the better. Churches, restaurants, funeral homes, movie theaters, automobiles while driving, for example are great places to use your cell phone. How else are people going to know that the whole world revolves around you?
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
pogmahone posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 9:05 AM
Drum on every available surface. Whenever I've had to teach - or even be in the same room as - adolescent boys I've been driven round the bend by this. And if they're not drumming they're rocking on their chairs. If they're not rocking on their chairs they're firing spitballs at each other. If they're not firing spitballs they're testing rulers, pencils, chairbacks to destruction. Nothing within arm's reach is safe.
Gog posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 9:18 AM
Fantastic one I saw on cellphones on tv last night, when you get on an underground train (story was in London switch to subway etc as appropriate) set the alarm on your mobile to go off in 15 minutes. 15 minutes later 'answer' your mobile and speak loudly - watch as everyone wonders how you get a signal, notably, if you are in a financial district, declare loudly about the nikkei or similar dropping shout 'buy' a few times and then make smug comments about being glad not to have missed that one and thanks for the call. Watch all the stock/futures traders get off the train sweating and staring at their now outdated mobiles and cursing the missed opportunity :)
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Toolset: Blender, GIMP, Indigo Render, LuxRender, TopMod, Knotplot, Ivy Gen, Plant Studio.
Ang25 posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 9:21 AM
LOL, ROFLMAO
TheBryster posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 9:40 AM
ROTFLMAO! Mine is: Only use the words 'yes Dear' when the missus is talking at you......... Bark like a dog when walking round the supermarket.....(done this, it's hysterical!)
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
orbital posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 10:37 AM
Street sellers and survey people in shopping centres... pretend you have a severe facial tick, there sure to avoid you.
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 10:38
electroglyph posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 12:08 PM
Make eye contact with some one then shout accusingly "What are you looking at" or "Do you know who I am?" Hum a well known tune and miss or change the last note over and over again. Go to a public bank of pay phones. Swap the receivers and hang them on the opposite phones.
Rochr posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 12:12 PM
...buy one of those giant plastic santas with lights inside, and actually use it...
Rudolf Herczog
Digital Artist
www.rochr.com
Svaelt posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 12:37 PM
I got one!
Write a far too long post on the Renderosity Bryce forum about how to be annoying!
Sorry I could not resist. Oh, and tjohn, you just described a man in my town. Always on the phone. Nobody I know of have ever seen him without a phone to his ear
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 12:49
electroglyph posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 2:16 PM
Go to the (fill in 3D software here) forum. Criticize another members work. Tell them pretty good considering the limitations of (fill in 3D software here). Maybe when they are through playing around and get some money they could afford to buy (fill in another 3D software here). The only real 3D software to use if you are a serious professional.
Yoro posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 3:20 PM
Go to a pet shop and ask if the brontosaurus egg you ordered last week is already available ...
diolma posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 4:11 PM
I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! I KNOW how to be annoying!!!! .. (etc...) Cheers, Diolma
diolma posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 4:14 PM
(repeat several times in the same forum....)
TheBryster posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 4:18 PM
Sing, "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know song that'll get on your nerves get, get, get, on your nerves...." Repeat ad nausium..........
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
TheBryster posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 4:19 PM
Sing, "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know song that'll get on your nerves get, get, get, on your nerves...." Repeat ad nausium..........
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
pakled posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 4:33 PM
this is the song that never ends..;)
Wash..rinse..repeat..;)
Learn the words to It's a small, small world..sing off-key, at any occasion
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:35
Never finish anything..always come back 5 minutes later
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:35
Create renders with reflective Vickies, and flesh-colored spheres over opaque oceans
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:37
always pay for everything with exact change..in fact, use change whenever possible..especially pennies..
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:38
Wait until the last possible moment to merge into traffic, especially if the lane's ending; turn on your turn signals randomly, in opposition to which direction you're going; slow down suddenly for no apparent reason, especially when there's noone in front of you..
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:40
and finally..create controversial message threads, and then wait until you have several replies..then delete the original post..;) I'll stop now..;)
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 16:43
I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit
anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)
MoonGoat posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 5:10 PM
LOL, hilarious, I see a lot of my subconcious habbits. The Jargon File has a lot of computer-related annoying breaches of ettiquit (ettikit?) like that. Thanks for the laughage Orbital!
wheatpenny posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 5:43 PM Site Admin
On a message board, insult someone and misspell the insult.
Like "your stupit" or something. Or say that something another poster said "doesn't make since" I hate it when people do that... Or post "yeah!" or "I agree" or "you're wrong" without specifying what you're replying to.
Message edited on: 12/17/2004 17:45
Jeff
Renderosity Senior Moderator
Hablo español
Ich spreche Deutsch
Je parle français
Mi parolas Esperanton. Ĉu vi?
ysvry posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 6:01 PM
i agree with the orange, you forgot invade a country and install a pseudo religion that causes a civil war , how irritating is that?
TwistedBolt posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 6:58 PM
I eat babies.
dvd_master posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 8:13 PM
"Specify that your drive-through order is "to go"." I work at McDonalds, and I HATE when people do that. Not as bad as when they say "I want a Happy Meal." I'm like "Okaaay. What kind, what drink, and a boy or a girl toy? Your order isn't over."
electroglyph posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 8:19 PM
Ignore what other people have said in the forum and give the same answer again. (repeat several times in the same forum....)
xenic101 posted Fri, 17 December 2004 at 11:09 PM
These all seem very complicated and involved. I've found that being myself is usually sufficient to annoy people.
Erlik posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 2:33 AM
Finishing people's sentences for them is usually enough. Or being always right. Or at least insisting you're right and not letting the matter go. Really annoying: McDonalds insisting they sell "steaks". Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)
-- erlik
pauljs75 posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 2:35 AM
Drive at night with your lights turned off going while 25MPH in the passing lane. And then look at people funny when they use their high beams on you. If you get pulled over for it, pull out the "discrimination card". I haven't done this myself, but I've been throughly annoyed by it. (It accounts for one of the few times I wish I had a Hummer or Semi.)
Your friendly neighborhood Wings3D nut.
Also feel free to browse my freebies at ShareCG.
There might be something worth downloading.
electroglyph posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 9:35 AM
Ignore what other people have said in the forum and give the same answer again. (repeat several times in the same forum....)
Pedrith posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 9:41 AM
What I found is annoying is having somebody go into a library and start turing all the books upside down, inside out and then placing them in the wrong section.... :p
TheBryster posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 9:52 AM
Pauljs: what's a "discrimination card".?
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
electroglyph posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 10:47 AM
Mutter in public about how Hitler was right. Go back for "seconds" at communion. Get on an airplane. Begin drinking heavily. Ask the Stewardess if they use Moog parts in the flaps and stabilizer. Mention you used to work for Moog until they let you go because of your drinking. Say, What was that? no, nevermind. Did you hear that?" Start muttering, " sounds like a 21J, Oh God..Oh God!" under your breath at intervals.
pakled posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 10:57 AM
the only Moog parts I'm familiar with are oscilattors, VCA's, VCO's, and filters..;) have a Moog synth (ok, the rogue..the cheapest one ever made, but what the hey..;)
I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit
anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)
Rochr posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 11:00 AM
Coming to the Bryce forum, telling how much Bryce sucks, how much better Vue is, and wonder why people dont ditch Bryce. Because it sucks... ;)
Rudolf Herczog
Digital Artist
www.rochr.com
electroglyph posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 11:24 AM
Moog made hydraulics in the 60s. Don't know if they ever went into planes, but the stewardess won't know either. You could use Honeywell instead or whatever type plane you board (Boeing, Lockheed, etc.). How about this one: Get a White Van, white coveralls, hardhats, and some NASA logos. Go to a shopping mall in the morning. Pick a corner of the parking lot and start roping it off. Put a large white X and the word IMPACT in the center. If people ask what you are doing say "This is merely a precaution. Formal inquiries should be directed to the JPL." Drive off and leave the cones up. See how long it takes for someone to take them down.
RobertJ posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 2:00 PM
Tell people on an airplane, i am sure as hell going to do it again later this week when i am leaving for 2 weeks in Osaka, that you made more starts than landings, it leaves them puzzled for while, and some will even come to the wrong conclusion ^_____^ Off course i don't mention that i made a couple of parachute-jumps some 20 years ago (wich is an extreme fun to do).
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
diolma posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 3:18 PM
Go with 10 or so people into a mall, or popular park or somewhere similar (school fetes are a good choice). Form a queue (line in USA). Wait for about 20 mins, by which time you should have about 100 others joined the queue. Then scatter the original 10... Cheers, Diolma
xenic101 posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 10:33 PM
What the blazes is a school fete(s)?
xenic101 posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 10:38 PM
An annual Fete, Fair or Festival is a major fund raising activity for any school or community group. Nevermind.
wheatpenny posted Sat, 18 December 2004 at 10:59 PM Site Admin
When riding on a plane, hold a crystal ball in your lap. Gaze intently into it for a few minutes then ask the stewardess for a parachute.
Jeff
Renderosity Senior Moderator
Hablo español
Ich spreche Deutsch
Je parle français
Mi parolas Esperanton. Ĉu vi?
tjohn posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 2:55 AM
I really used to do these when I was in college (hey, I was bored): Walk into an occupied elevator. Press all the buttons so it stops at every floor. Stay on the elevator after everyone else gets off. Walk into an occupied elevator. Press the button for your floor. Face the rear of the elevator. Walk into an occupied elevator. Stand a little too close to another occupant. See if you can make them move without touching them or looking directly at them. Walk into an occupied elevator while carrying an umbrella. After the doors close, open the umbrella. Get off on the same floor as the other occupant. Close the umbrella and walk away.
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
RobertJ posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 3:37 AM
When somebody is leaving the room you are in, call his name loudly, show them that you need their attention, pretend you have some kind of problem, best if they come to back to you. "What do you want?" "Have nice day" "Safe journey home" "See you next week" Works almost everytime.
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
pauljs75 posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 4:17 AM
Re: TheBryster Pauljs: what's a "discrimination card".? It's just a way of saying somebody is claiming discrimination or profiling as being the reason for being pulled over, even though the truth is that they're apprehended or cited for a valid reason. This is so they can skirt the law or just get a mere slap on the wrist. In some areas of the U.S. it happens a lot. (Although there are cases where the profiling/discrimination complaint is valid, but unfortunately this leads to miscreants playing the card more often.)
Your friendly neighborhood Wings3D nut.
Also feel free to browse my freebies at ShareCG.
There might be something worth downloading.
TheBryster posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 7:03 AM
PaulJs: Many thanks! How to be annoying..... Lookout for a MoonGoat thread and obilterate it with inacurate quotes from Shakespeare and other famous people.
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
electroglyph posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 9:35 AM
Alfred Hitchcock used this one: Mr. Hitchcock was a noted practical joker whose favorite prank was telling a tantalizing story in a loud voice to a companion in an elevator, perfectly timing his exit just before the punch line and then bowing politely to the intrigued but frustrated passengers.
electroglyph posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 9:49 AM
Another one is to tell stories getting off while people are getting on an elevator. It might go something like this: But of course, they never found the head. But what about the giraffe? Yes, that was strange. No zoo or circus for hundreds of miles. It's Iceland though... The damn thing didn't just walk up there! Well, the summer had been unusually warm. Maybe it had been there all along. What frozen in the glacier? Preposterous! I guess it doesn't matter to poor Henderson either way. But I thought Giraffes were herbivores? You only have to keep this up long enough for the doors to close.
pakled posted Sun, 19 December 2004 at 6:03 PM
@ theBryster - I resemble that remark..shows what happens when you watch too much Star Trek..;) and now our revels ended..
I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit
anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)
eres posted Mon, 20 December 2004 at 6:35 PM
DrunkMonkey posted Tue, 28 December 2004 at 12:19 PM
When someone asks you to do something reply by saying "Do you want fries with that?" When someone asks you a simple question shout "Ah-HA!" accusingly, then walk away.
tjohn posted Tue, 28 December 2004 at 2:02 PM
As you are leaving work on Thursday, tell your co-workers, "See you next week!"
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
RobertJ posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 8:20 AM
Better when you can say that on monday.
Robert van der Veeke Basugasubasubasu Basugasubakuhaku Gasubakuhakuhaku!! "Better is the enemy of good enough." Dr. Mikoyan of the Mikoyan Gurevich Design Bureau.
tjohn posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 10:50 AM
One last way to be annoying from me. Add one more message to an aging thread so everyone that posted in it gets another ebot. (Tee hee)
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
TheBryster posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 10:56 AM
TJohn: I can see how that would be annoying......LOL
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
TheBryster posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 10:57 AM
Send someone an IM with just the word 'er' in it.
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...
tjohn posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 10:59 AM
Yep, that'll work! :^)
This is not my "second childhood". I'm not finished with the first one yet.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
"I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather....not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus." - Jack Handy
TheBryster posted Wed, 29 December 2004 at 11:04 AM
ROTFLMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Available on Amazon for the Kindle E-Reader
All the Woes of a World by Jonathan Icknield aka The Bryster
And in my final hours - I would cling rather to the tattooed hand of kindness - than the unblemished hand of hate...