There's been some discussion recently (of a clearly envious tone) of the viewing audience commanded by "naked Vicky" artists. It's true - splashing two or three naked Vickies in compromising poses is the surest way to have 300 hits by noon. Heck, use a texture with good pubic hair and rouged nipples, and you're practically an art idol. You say doing this compromises your artistic integrity? You say all that skin is disturbing the balance of your serene Bryce landscapes? There's hardly any room left for the pets in your pet portraits? Well, I'm here to help. Slowly (VERY slowly some might say) I've been unlocking the secrets of posting view-worthy images which contain nary a single NV (naked Vicki). And though I haven't actually used any of these techniques myself (clearly proven by my modest hit counts) they HAVE worked for others and they can work for you too.

1. Puppy eyes. Let's start easy. If you won't go nude, then go for cute. I recommend the Daz Toon Puppy. Face on, great big puppy eyes. Gets all the stuffed animal lovers right off the top. Probably good for 100 hits the first day.

2. Tributes. Birthdays, weddings, whatever - just mention it in you title and a few curious people will straggle in to see what's going on. Good for an additional 50 hits.

3. New products. Every hot new piece of clothing that comes out in the Marketplace, slap together a render and get it out the same day. Use every morph that unfastens or opens or raises something. This one is 200 hits without trying hard.

4. Deceptive thumbnails. Just because you don't have any NVs (naked Vickies, remember?) in your image to coax out those mouse clicks doesn't mean it can't seem like you do. Take a day and build up a small collection of NV renders. Then whenever necessary, open one and copy out 40,000 pixels of tasty goodness. Attach this thumbnail to your Bryce landscape and POW! You've got 250 hits my friend. Remember: they can't take back their viewing once they click on the picture.

5. Skimpies and weapons. Panties and pistols. This is a powerful combination. Your viewing audience really wouldn't mind if Renderosity opened a Lara Croft gallery. Use this pent up desire to your advantage. Hand Vicky a battle axe and lose her sweat pants and watch the view clicks soar. 300 clicks easy.

6. Fan Service. A term used to describe gratuitous panty shots in Japanese anime, fan service can be your friend. This one I HAVE used. What can I say - I'm no saint. As long as you've got a Vicki, Aiko, Stephanie, Posette, Solondra, Maya Doll or one of their many friends in your pz3, you've got potential. Let her straighten her nylons or bend over to pick up the newspaper. Or better yet, bend over to pet the Toon Puppy. You CAN combine these techniques - in fact I encourage it. Experiment! The sky is the limit.

7. Try not to care so much. I've heard that there are actually people who post images they care about, for their friends and anyone else who wanders by to admire. Think of every comment someone takes the time to write as a gift. Treasure them and find pleasure in your growth as an artist.

8. And by all means go out and view other people's images and see the wonderful thing's they've done. And leave a comment for the ones you like. Everyone has an artist inside them - the lucky ones find it.

Happy holidays everyone! I'm gonna go browse the galleries at my new favorite website (yes, I mean this one).