hi guys. i've been crying. i decide to start new project to help me deal/cope with broken elbow. why i cry? why this so hard for me? i verrrrry active girl. hyper. not used to slow down. i frustrated. hard to do things. and everything hurts me. i saw ortho doc today. i have 2 weeks to be in fiberglass cast. for at LEAST 6 weeks after that, i cant lift more than 1 pound with left arm. he said i break radial head in elbow so means i need much rehab to get back full range of motion of arm. he says will be painful & long haul. seems like eternity. i work hard. will make arm work like b-4. i sad & weepy b-cuz i hurting alot. frustrated a lot. swelling not go down. hannd ice cold. bone in wrist connected to elbow. i must do exercises with hand/wrist. hurts. i can't wear coat. no go outside. can't drive. cant shower by self. i work light duty at drs. office full-time next 2 weeks. cant work at restaurant. so now i work 1st shift. kemal works 2nd shift. we won't have same days off. i miss him already. i sit home alone, sad, lonely for kemal, frustrated, hurting. ok. i need to look on bright side. i know, i know. i need to work thru feelings. jan-carel reminds me this is an adventure in living. ok. it;s true. i don't like this adventure though. i wanna climb mountains, go skiing, photo shoots...not this crap! i must work thru feelings...express self. get it out. challenge...only indoor photos at night with horrible light. dark when i go to work. dark when i get home. just little light. challenge. 1 hand only. must use tripod. move slow. tonight i make self portrait. wed. with kemal;s supervision i will try to capture fire/flame. i try some nightshots/night framing. new adventures. new adventure to go to toilet. LOL. sorry for novel here. i got so depressed tonight, now i have project. take care of self best i can. new challenges. when i want scream, i take pic. here's me. tell me honestly. i want feedback. i wanted to show my feelings. don't be scared i cry if u say this image crappy. just tell. i want to make photo show strong feelings. thanks for reading novel and replying. i embarrassed to write this. but i real. it's me. i don't wanna be sad anymore. new series might help. i need many hugs. thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sheila