Is it possible to load an poser obj (for example some boots or a shirt) in a 3d tool, change the shape slightly and get it back to poser? Is it still conforming then? How does it work?

conforming is structured around the grouping of the object and is controlled by the cr2 attached to said object. Techinically, you could copy the cr2 for the original and edit it to point to the new object -- but goruping would need to be the same for that to work :)

thou and I, my friend, can, in the most flunkey world, make, each of us, one non-flunkey, one hero, if we like: that will be two heroes to begin with. (Carlyle)

Be aware that some modellers will ignore the grouping information in an imported OBJ - Anim8or for instance does this. It means that the result won't be conforming unless you regroup it. However, if "changing the shape slightly" is your goal, wouldn't a morph be a simpler method? You could do this right in Poser with the magnets. Alternatively, if you want to cut bits off, try a transparency map.

Is there any tutorial out there?

You can totally do this in trueSpace. But instead of changing the obj I would export from trueSpace ( or what ever you are using that is) and import as a morph target, that way you do not run hte risk of wreaking hte obj file.

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