I can't say I'm Southern born & bred since I'm originally from San Francisco, but my dad's side of the family have lived in the hills of Kentucky their whole lives. My parents live in Ky. also...about 5 miles from the Tennessee border. Maybe "all ya'all" will enjoy!!! :) hope you have a "not-so-manic" monday!!!!! :) Subject: Southern Born & Bred > > > > > >If you are from the northern states and planning on visiting or moving > to > > >the South, there are a few things you should know that will help you > adapt > > >to the difference in lifestyles: > > > > > >The North has coffee houses, The South has Waffle Houses > > > > > >The North has dating services, The South has family reunions. > > > > > >The North has switchblade knives, The South has Lee Press-on Nails. > > > > > >The North has double last names, The South has double first names. > > > > > >The North has Indy car races, The South has stock car races. > > > > > >The North has Cream of Wheat, The South has grits. > > > > > >The North has green salads, The South has collard greens > > > > > >The North has lobsters, The South has crawdads. > > > > > >The North has the rust belt, The South has the Bible Belt.. > > > > > >In the South: --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men > in > > >a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. > > >Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they > live > > >for. > > > > > >Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same > store....do > > >not buy food at this store. > > > > > >Remember, "y'all" is singular, "all y'all" is plural, and "all y'all's" > is > > >plural possessive. > > > > > >Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?" > > > > > >Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to > > >use it. > > > > > >Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't > > >understand you either. The first Southern statement to creep into a > > >transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "big'ol," truck or > > >"big'ol" boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect > this > > >way. All of them are in denial about it. > > > > > >The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper. > > > > > >Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense here. > > > > > >If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this," you should > stay > > >out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'l ever say. > > > > > >If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest > > >accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery > > >store. > > >It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go > > >there. > > > > > >Do not be surprised to find that 10-year-olds own their own shotguns, > they > > >are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim. > > > > > >In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn > is > > >to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway. > > > > > >AND REMEMBER: > > > > > >If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will > accept > > >them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we > > >wouldn't call 'em biscuits. > > > > > >Have a good day! Send this to four people that ain't related to you, and > I > > >reckon your life will turn into a country music song 'fore you know it.