Forum: Writers


Subject: Mini-challenge.

hanevi opened this issue on Apr 25, 2005 ยท 17 posts


hanevi posted Mon, 25 April 2005 at 11:35 AM

Ok, I'm taking the plunge. Here goes... Inspired by the site Invisible Library, I thought of posting a little challenge to relieve the tedium of daily life. Any takers? The theme- 'The worst title that you can think of for a book' and/or 'The worst name for a writer to have that would surely stop any of his/her books from selling' The entries could be real or imaginary. If they're real, you could put a little bracket near it with an R. You can post your entries as replies to this. Let's have a few laughs. :) I'll start it off with one of mine- ''All you want to know about cooking Rhubarb' by Hortense Smales.


dialyn posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 7:57 AM

I'm thinking, I'm thinking. :)


hanevi posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 9:16 AM

Thanks Dialyn. As always, you do just the right thing. :) Here's a few more of mine- 'Where is we Going?' by Florence Featherwaite 'Mechanisms of Metaphysics' by Sathyanarayan Parthasarathy 'Why?' by Archibald Greenwhistle


hanevi posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 9:21 AM

Ohhh! I just realised. This is for fun. ABSOLUTELY no offense meant to anyone who coincidentally happens to have one of these names, or has written anything with one of these titles. Here's one more- 'The Nutritional Potential of the Eggplant' by Indi Iyer :)


dialyn posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 9:53 AM

I've thought that the worst title for a book is "Book," which has been used by both Whoopie Goldberg and Desi Arnez. It just seems like such a lack of imagination to me.


hanevi posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 11:24 AM

Are you serious?
Just reading that is like a full-stop. I agree with you.

Message edited on: 04/26/2005 11:32


dialyn posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 12:53 PM

"The Mill on the Floss" Okay, it's a classic, but is that really a good title? Killer Hair: A Crime of Fashion Hocus Croakus I tend to be more forgiving of people's names, especially if they are born with something unfortunate to deal with. My brother had a friend named "Harcourt Riddle." I always thought it was a great shame he didn't become an author.


dialyn posted Tue, 26 April 2005 at 1:24 PM

And I really do know how to spell "title." For reasons best known only to him, Arthur Henry Ward wrote under the name of Sax Rohmer, and to his credit are a whole series of sexist, racist penny dreadfuls about the villain Fu Manchu, that utterly fascinated me when I was in high school. He also wrote under the names "Gaston Max" and "Red Kerry." Strangely enough he died from complications from Asiatic flu. It strikes me as a just end considering his subject matter.


hanevi posted Wed, 27 April 2005 at 5:50 AM

:D That was fascinating. And I do agree about the name thing. We're born with them (in a manner of speaking), and isn't really nice to laugh at. :) What do you think of 'Smut-An Anatomy of Dirt' as a title? I'd read this book years ago and never figured it out because chunks of it, for some reason known only to the author Christian Enzenberger, were in German and some other language, I think.


dialyn posted Wed, 27 April 2005 at 7:48 AM

I offer up "Adventures of Peregrine Pickle" by Tobias Smollett. Real title. Real author.


dialyn posted Wed, 27 April 2005 at 7:52 AM

If you really have nothing better to do and want to challenge yourself, try reading "The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman" by Laurence Stern. There is nothing odd about the name of the book or the author, but the book is, shall we say gently, different. From the Amazon.com summary: "Narrated by Shandy, the story begins at the moment of his conception and diverts into endless digressions, interruptions, stories-within-stories, and other narrative devices. The focus shifts from the fortunes of the hero himself to the nature of his family, environment, and heredity, and the dealings within that family offer repeated images of human unrelatedness and disconnection. The narrator is isolated in his own privacy and doubts how much, if anything, he can know for certain even about himself. Sterne broke all the rules: events occur out of chronological order, anecdotes are often left unfinished, and sometimes whole pages are filled with asterisks or dashes or are left entirely blank." I had to read it in college. I remember nothing about it. I think that's how nature preserves our sanity.


hanevi posted Wed, 27 April 2005 at 12:03 PM

I don't believe this. :D Was it part of your college course? I had to do 'Peter Grimes' (I can't remember the poet), the uninteresting title totally belied the amazingly depressing poem. This was followed by 'Gerontion' by T.S.Eliot. A title I would normally have passed by, had to study per force, and ended up writing 30 pages of notes just on that tiny poem. Hey, I'm thinking of writing a poem called 'Poem'. What do you think? :D Tell me when this topic palls, or becomes pointless. We can end it anytime.


dialyn posted Wed, 27 April 2005 at 12:38 PM

I took two classes of 18th and 19th century English literature in one semester. :p Not all of it was awful, but all of it was long. I do have fond memories of Wilkie Collins, for some reason. I don't know if I could read him now, but at the time I enjoyed his novels. Sheridan LeFanu was a favorite. Is that not a great name for a writer? Joseph Sheridan Le Fanu - he had to be a writer with a name like that. A poem called poem would be quite poetic. :) I avoided poetry in my formative years, which probably explains why I'm no good at writing it now.


hanevi posted Thu, 28 April 2005 at 9:13 AM

Hey, the message I posted didn't get through (anyway the connection was terrible). Strangely enough, I've realised that I seem to be caught in the Web again and the modem induced freedom from the Net is rapidly disappearing. :) I've decided to take a break for a while and travel for a few days. So I won't be posting anything for a little while. Thanks Dialyn for the very decent and amusing chat. I'm working on an offbeat story. Will let you know when it's done. Take care. :)


dialyn posted Fri, 29 April 2005 at 1:57 PM

Small Mediums At Large : The True Tales of a Family of Psychics by Terry Iacuzzo.


Drandon posted Fri, 29 April 2005 at 9:39 PM

Your Guide to Self-Proctology by Michael Jackson or how about: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Staples by George LaGeorge


hanevi posted Wed, 04 May 2005 at 3:15 AM

I couldn't resist checking in the midst of a very nice holiday in the mountains. :) Drandon, you gave me a laugh in the middle of a pensive mood. Thanks kindly! :D Here's 'The Onion-Eaters' by J.P.Donleavy (a true title) 'The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B.' also by J.P.Donleavy. I'm off again. Won't be checking for a few days. Fair winds to you guys. :)