The Flash Fortune Lotto Scam - the link will take you to an exact copy of what I got in the email today: http://rjohara.net/lottery-scams/2005-03-27-flash-fortune-lotto.html There are some pretty interesting scams out there and I usually just ignore and delete. But I got a tickle up my bum today and thought I'd try responding just for fun. Below is what I sent in reply to this particular party. In no way do I mean ANYTHING offensive to anyone here who may read this: To MR. Edward Bongo and Mr. Anderson Simon, I am sorry to inform you that I will be unable to accept your generous cash lotto prize of $2,950,000.00. I have a condition called 'chrometophobia', which is the fear of money. I have had this terrible condition for many years and because of this, I have been unable to handle even my own money. I give it away at every chance I get and because of this, I am penniless, but much happier. Were I to accept your prize money, I would begin to experience symptoms of my condition. These symptoms can be quite embarrassing as well as dangerous. Once in a bank, when I was younger and just starting to get my condition, I saw the $2000.00 cash withdrawal I had just made and began urinating all over the bank floor. Just the sight of the paper bills left me unable to control my bodily functions! Some years later, in another bank, I smelled the cash I was withdrawing and started ripping and tearing at my clothes until they fell off my body in a heap. Standing there completely naked, I wondered what was wrong with me! People were staring [and some were even smiling], and again, I wet the floor. (My psychiatrist told me this was because I was subconsciously trying to remove the smell of the paper cash from my clothing and that I was lucky that I hadn't tried to rip out my hair too!) The worst came a few years ago. My phobia had grown so strong that even the mere mention of money would turn me into a mad-woman! A man came up to me to ask for spare change and I began to act like a werewolf and tore off all my clothing and tried to rip and claw at strangers walking by, all the time drooling and foaming at the mouth! I ran into traffic, determined to tear apart the world, when I was hit by a car. My legs had to be amputated as well as one of my arms. I also lost all my fingers on the hand that was thankfully spared from amputation. Lastly, much of intestines were spilled out onto the roadway were they were squished by oncoming cars. The doctors, miracle workers that they are, were able to piece them back together through the modern miracle of medicine and a few left-over cow parts. As I type this with my thumb, which is all I have left now, I am trembling because of talking about money. Thankfully, I can no longer hurt others or myself as I have no limbs left with which to do any physical harm. Plus, I am strapped in a straight-jacket, except for my one arm, which the facility allows me the use of. The room I spend my days in now has lovely white soft padded walls and a tiny window where I can enjoy listening to the birds outside and see a small fragment of sunshine. The bars do not even inhibit my view at all! The facility has installed a keyboard on my table, which is how I am able to write to you now. In closing, I just want to thank you for making me a cash-prize winner of your fabulous lottery, but as you can understand, I must turn it down. Please, if you can, could you donate my prize to a worthy charity? My first choice would be the NFCCA, [The National Foundation for Cheek-Chewers Anonymous], but would also be just as happy if you could donate it to TIFOTI, [The International Foundation for One-Thumbed Individuals]. You're help in this would be greatly appreciated as both these charitable causes are near and dear to my heart. Now, I must close so I can call someone on the staff. I'm afraid that I have urinated all over the floor again and need some assistance cleaning it up. Thank you for you time and kind regards, Victoria Nogutsatall .................................... Hope someone gets a laugh or two from this - I know I did...but then again, I only got 3 hours of sleep last night...