Okay this might sound stupid.. But it has annoyed me fare to long..

There's a project I want to do.. but the key element in it I can not figure out how to do for the life of me.. And if anyone can point me to a tutorial, or better yet.. MAKE me a sample of how to do this.. I'd love you forever..

I need to be able to make a tornado, and waterspout, (tornado on water roughly)

But I can't get it to even SLIGHTLY look like it.. I've tried all the settings I could think that may work.. yet get nothing of the sort.. I also want them to be slightly transparent so you can see things being sucked up into them..

I can sort of get them.. but making them look like they are twisting, rather then a solid thing thats 'there' is the hardest part.. Plus again, they look nothing like what they should be..

But yeah.. making a few tornados on land demolithing everything, and one in the water sucking up boats and taking out a pear.. It just.. stinks...

PLEASE can anyone help? ;.;

And so you know.. sense I knew the twisters would be the hardest part.. thats -all- I have to the project so fare.. So I don't really have anything to show you guys...
But really.. any twister for land and water will do.. I can build the rest around that.. I just need thew twisters!!!