• The following is a Public Service Announcement *

Many of you are unaware of the countless deaths every year. These deaths are called suicides, but many believe that some if not most are murders. These deaths are horrific! Not only do these poor souls fall from a great hight, but the fact the dead pile upon each other. Whole fields covered with the dead, its a sad scene indeed. Every year, billions upon billions of leaves take their own lives, or take another's life. You can't stop these killings, but you can help police the dead by raking the poor bastards into a huge pile. Whatever you do, do NOT handle them, they carry many viruses, it is best to burn the massive piles. Not only does this kill the viruses and make for an easier cleanup and great fertilizer for your grass in the coming Spring, but it also keeps you warm on those cold winter nights.

• This ends another Public Service Announcement *