1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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2. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

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3. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

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4. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

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5. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

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6. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

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7. The things that come to those who wait will be the scraggly junk left by those who got there first.

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8. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

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9. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

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10. When you go into court, you are putting yourself into the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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