Here are a few absolutely ridiculous warning labels:

On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

On a hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating.

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.

On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: defrost.

On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.

A wheel 13" a wheelbarrow warns:
Not for highway use.

A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding"

A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed"

A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."

A nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."

A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."

The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."

A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person's temperature several different ways warns: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."

A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”

A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”

The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”

A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”

A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”

A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”

An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”

A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”

A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”

A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”

A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”

A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”

A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.”