Mods - delete this if
a) it' violates TOS
b) if we've already seen it.

1. Cashtration  : The act of buying a house, which renders the  subject  financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 

2.  Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 

3. Intaxicaton : Euphoria at getting a tax refund,  which lasts until you  realize it was your money to start  with.

4. Reintarnation  : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone : The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright  ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows  little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6.  Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about  yourself for the  purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti :  Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm  : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who  doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte : To take coffee  intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra  credit.)

11. Karmageddon : It's like, when  everybody is sending off all these  really bad vibes, right?  And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, dude.

12. Decafalon : The grueling event of  getting through the day consuming only things that are good for  you.

13. Glibido : All talk and no action. 

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to  seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15.  Arachnoleptic Fit : The frantic dance performed just after  you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16.  Beelzelbug : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets  into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 

17. Caterpallor : The color you turn after  finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

1.  Coffee. The person upon whom one coughs.

2.  Flabbergasted. Appalled by discovering how much weight  one has gained.

3. Abdicate. To give up all  hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4  Esplanade. To attempt an explanation while drunk. 

5. Willy-nilly. Impotent.

6.  Negligent. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing  only a nightgown.

7. Lymph. To walk with a  lisp.

8. Gargoyle. Olive-flavored mouthwash. 

9. Flatulence. Emergency  vehicle that picks up someone who has  been run over  by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash.  A rapidly receding  hairline.

11. Testicle. A humorous question on  an exam.

12. Rectitude. The formal, dignified  bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon. A  Rastafarian proctologist.

14.  Oyster. A person who sprinkles his conversation with  Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism. The belief  that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck  there.

16. Circumvent. An opening in the front  of boxer shorts worn by Jewish  men

I wish I'd said that.. The Staircase Wit

anahl nathrak uth vas betude doth yel dyenvey..;)