I just got this from a friend and I just thought it was so funny and wanted to share it with you.

HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
(Taken from actual hospital charts)
 
 
•       The patient refused autopsy.

•       The patient has no previous history of suicides.

•       Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

•       She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

•       Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

•       On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

•       The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

•       The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

•       Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

•       Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

•       Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

•       She is numb from her toes down.

•       While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

•       The skin was moist and dry.

•       Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

•       Patient was alert and unresponsive.

•       Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

•       She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

•       I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

•       Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

•       Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

•       The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

•       Skin: somewhat pale but present.

•       The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

•       Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.